Fragilisticity

2006-10-05T03:49:00.000+08:00

Wow.

It's been a long time since I blogged here.

Hahas!

I'll keep this blog a secret. Maybe one day I'll open it again. Wait, I KNOW one day I'll open it again. Let's just say I can see the future. Lawl.

I've lost another friend.
I don't care.

She doesn't deserve me. At all.

Even if I successfully killed myself, she wouldn't feel the pain of losing me, nor will she feel guilty.. In fact, she'd be happy. Haha. Pathetic la she. I can't wait for her to rot in hell. xD

Anyways, I can't get to sleep, and they exams are going on now. T_T

I want to create a contemporary dance. I've always loved contemp. It's just that I find it extremely hard because I'm more of a hip-hop dancer. I LOVE HIP-HOP. Does that explain enough? Hahaha. That includes loads of booty-shaking by the way. xDD Freestyle. Hearts.

I wonder if we'll be taking part in Anti-Drugs next year. Most probably no lahs. Cause we're all busy with SYF.. I am so going to miss those late night practices for NJRC. xD With Colin Da Ge sending me home.. And Aisyah and me smooching and being lesbians! Hohoho. I miss those times..

Long lost words whisper slowly to me
Still can't find what keeps me here
When all this time I've been so hollow inside
I know you're still there

Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down

Hunting you, I can smell you - alive
Your heart pounding in my head

Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me, raping me, watching me

Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you... loving you
I won't let you pull me down

She'll find out the truth one day.
I wonder if she'll cry the tears I've cried.

Happy 14th Birthday to my darling adik Deenawnaw!! <333

Toodles.

2006-09-17T18:44:00.000+08:00

10 sleeping pills.
5 panadols.
15 minutes.
2 cups of coke....

And I'm still alive.
*Everybody jeers*

Gahhh!

I guess this blog won't be closing down.
I thought I'd be dead by now.

I don't think I'm going to school tomorrow. I don't know. I'm just so tired. Of everything. Every breath I take just makes me weaker... Hold on. Am I making any sense?

I'm sorry for making all of you so worried.
Ezzati, Priscilla, Zailan, Mardhiah, Divya, Kakak.
At least now I know it takes much more than 15 pills to get this body of mine asleep forever, huh? =)

Maybe jumping down is the best solution.
Fast and easy.
But I'll be an ugly ghost, no?
Ouh, it's scary too.

I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm saying things I shouldn't be saying. Doing things I shouldn't be doing. Thinking of things I shouldn't be thinking of. Maybe one day I'll regret all my actions. Maybe one day, you will regret everything you've done to me.

Lalala~

I just need some time alone.
I just need people to understand.

But nobody can ever be understood completely, can they?
Tirra.

2006-09-16T13:07:00.000+08:00

I've decided to stop blogging here.
For real.

I'll just change my blog song occasionally.
I prefer my thoughts to go unnoticed, unknown.
I've realised that I don't make a difference, anyway.

Feel free to continue tagging.

Never Had A Dream Come True ~ S Club 7

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering (or wondering)
How it could be now or might have been (or might have been)
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

[Chorus:]
I never had a dream come true
Till that day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory I've lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be
Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering (or wondering)
How it should be now or might have been (or might have been)
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

[Chorus]

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
(Yes you will, say you will, you know you will, oh baby)
You'll always be the one I know (I'll never forget)
There's no use looking back or wondering (or wondering)
Because love is a strange and funny thing (and funny thing)
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

[Chorus]

A part of me will always be with you...

Dedicated to Class 2/5e of year 2006..
And to that special somebody..

And ouh ouh ouh!
Before I forget...
I, Sharifah Raihanah, would like to declare that I ate uncooked rice during NJRC, 9th September. xD

This is it then..
Goodbye.

2006-09-16T11:18:00.000+08:00

Good morning!

Yesterday wasn't such a good day.
=)

The morning was nice. A smile and everything changes for the better. Heekz. ;D Went to school, and there was no HL! Haha. We spent most of the period doing the Class Magazine, and trust me, I so so love Priscilla, Michelle, Patricia and Violet! xD Ouh wells.. [Pris, don't you ever do that again or I swear I will hate you. Okay baobei? =)]

P.E. was okay, I guess.
I think that test is redundant, because he didn't test us individually. Instead, he observed us as a mass, where there was lack of space to move and hit the ball. Ouh wells. I'm happy to have gotten a C. xD

Ouh!
Maisurah, cheer up!
Life has its ups and down..
Remember that after a stormy rain..
The Sun will always shine again..
=)

Mother Tongue was funny. I didn't even know that we would be having a Listening Comprehension. Ahahahkz. Ouh wells. I think it was average. I spent the rest of the period feeling nervous about the Malay presentation when there wasn't enough time to present it in the end. Nyehaha. xDD

Art was nice, I guess.
Crapped a lot with Hong Hwee.
We were laughing most of the time.
Hahaha.

Anyhoots...
My dear sayang.. Please do cheer up, okie? It hurts to see you so sad.. For whatever reason it was... I'm sorry if it was because of me.. Just cheer up kay dear? I love you.. =))

After school was funFUNfun!

Went to the General Office right after Art with Hidayah and Rifhan, only to discover that Cikgu had already taken the class lists which she requested us to take. Haha. So cute.

Went up to the classroom thereafter.
And goshie goshie gosh.
I so screwed up my Orals!
Arghh. If only that topic was tested for English instead.
It's easy, but I just couldn't find the words to say.
Grr..

Went straight home after Orals.
Walked home in the rain, and I didn't use an umbrella at all. xDD
It was fun, I finally had some time alone.
Heeekz~

I didn't go to that kenduri because one of my neighbours passed away.. It was sad luh. So we all didn't have to mood to go so far.. Lalalaa~

The rest of the afternoon was spent being happy. We got into a big fight cause of a misunderstanding, but we made up. Heheh. =)

The night was okay.
I feel so confused.

Fuck.
I've lost my thoughts which I wanted to blog about.
Maybe I should stop blogging, yes?

Tirra.

2006-09-14T06:40:00.000+08:00

She's a SLUT.

And she knows it.

Ahahaha!

Ape gunenye aku kawan kau kalau kau asyik menyakitkan hati aku?

Haiz..

Sudahlah, aku anggap kau sebagai anjing skarang.

I only pray you don't get hurt when you find out the truth.. Or maybe you DESERVE to get hurt. I don't know. I have the heart to not break your ~~fucking~~ "fragile" heart. Your bloody stinking heart that was cruel and vile enough to break a friend's. HAHA.

You're just another wolf in sheep's clothings.
Slut.

2006-09-13T17:16:00.000+08:00

Out Of My Head ~ Fastball

Sometimes I feel
Like I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of possibility
However it may roll

Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know there's always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say

[Chorus:]
Was I out of my head?
Or was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don't matter what I say; only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you're sad then it's time you spoke up too

Repeat Chorus Twice

My current blog song. Enjoy it. It's a lovely song, don't you all agree? x))

Anyhoots..
Today has been such an unproductive day. I've been lying on the floor the whole day, waking up only to eat my medicine. My body feels so weak. Just now was nice.

Sayang finally read my blog.
Heheh. x)

I hope I can catch up tomorrow. I feel so lost luh.

I finally have a purpose to live in life. Expect me to cheer up real soon, people, cause I'm about to prove that I'm strong enough to live up to all your expectations. xD I think... Huhu!

It's amazing how one voice can make your life seem a little better to live. xD

Tatash.

2006-09-12T19:18:00.000+08:00

Suara Hati Seorang Kekasih ~ Melly Goeslaw

Hanya namamu di hatiku
Jiwa dan raga takkan berdusta
Namun terkadang cinta terusik
Benci sesaat...

Seribu musim takkan bisa
Menghibur hati yang penuh marah
Entah mengapa berpisah
Saat mulai menjalin...

Suara hati seorang kekasih
Bagai nyanyian surgawi
Takkan berdusta
Walau ketamakan merajai
Diri yang penuh emosi
Jauh di dasar hatiku
Tetap ku mau
Kau sebagai kasihku...

I finally understand what mama said. It's true that it's very hard to forget somebody. Really, really hard. Nevertheless, I'm going to try my best. Really, I am. This song is really nice. It's from the soundtrack of "Ada Apa Dengan Cinta" by the way. Go download and listen. It's really emotional.. Haiz..

I didn't go to school today.
I won't be going to school tomorrow.
I got MC for both days.

B4 for English.
F9 for Maths.
B3 for Geography.

Haiz.
I'm abnormal.

Went for swimming just now, but I didn't swim. Rifhan bought cheesecake and I ate a lot. Heh. Thanks baboon. For that heart-to-heart talk. I'll need time, but thanks anyway. I'm starting to have breathing difficulties, but I'm not really interested in going to the hospital. Not when the exams are around the corner. I won't be myself for a long time. I won't talk to you. I'll be daydreaming most of the time. I won't be the bubbly cheerful girl I was. I'll be alone most of the time, going back home straight after school, to mug at home, and hiding myself at a corner during recess.

Everybody will be happier without me.

Nothing seems the same anymore.
I doubt anything will ever be the same.

It's okay, it's alright.
Cause I'm going to be just fine one day..

Some day...

Ouh by the way, I was pissed cause the stupid doctor refused to give me sleeping tablets. She says it's a psychological problem and if I do have any problems I should consult a psychiatrist. Moronic woman. Does she think I have money to give to those kind of people? Sheesh... Besides, I really do have insomnia. That's one thing I have to admit. It isn't so easy to de-stress when you know you can't. Argh, fuck.

I want to eat those small yellow pills all in one go.
They're a substitute for sleeping pills.
They're yellow.
And they're small.

I hope they make me die.
Don't you?

Toodloo.

2006-09-12T00:03:00.000+08:00

I'm officially sick like fuck.

I've been coughing the whole day, since I woke up, [or rather, since yesterday - cause I didn't sleep] and I haven't stopped coughing.

Ugh.

Not good.

School was okay. I felt so disappointed in myself. Others were unaware but I felt like crying there and then. Whatever happened to me? I'm just not dealing with the drastic change very well. I hope Divya is okay. She seemed so down. Cheer up, keh DD? I miss you.

Ouh.. And Hidayah too.. Shits happen, and things don't go our way.. I tell you it's going to be hard, but we're all here for you, and if you fall, we'll push you back up.. Or rather guide you back up. We're going to be the light at the end of the tunnel and I have confidence that you're reaching us soon. ;D

Eeeeek.
Jiwang nya...
Hoho.

But still, I wasn't myself most of the day.

Music was nice; I didn't expect them to film that video so nicely. I should say I was pleasantly surprised. xD

I was extremely pissed off during D&T. It should have been PMS that triggered it. I went to the toilet halfway and cried. I doubt anybody knew. I just felt so alone. It seemed as though all my friends were there and nobody knew how I felt; nobody cared.

IPW was okay. I was dozing off most of the period. I guess not sleeping the night before finally took its toll on me. *&^%$#* Ming Yang had to piss me off by constantly pressing that big blue-black I have on my knee. It hurts la, ass. Ouh! I rested on Rifhan baboon's back a lot. Thanks girl.

The last period was *&^%$#*. I had to do that stupid Maths paper, and I was dozing off during the last few minutes. I wanted to do English so badly, but then I had that negative thought of me getting lowest again because of the disappointment I got earlier on. Haiz..

After school was great.
I walked home alone...
In the rain. xD

I only started using an umbrella after I got drenched by the light rain. Good timing, too, cause it got really heavy thereafter. I used my nenek's floral umbrella because Syamil broke my blue umbrella. A strong smell came along with the umbrella. The wind blew it into my face. It reminded me of nenek. I miss her so. Haiz..

I spent a lot of time thinking.
It's nice thinking in the rain.
But not recommended when you're sick. xP
And I like the "squish-squash" sound that can be heard with every step you take when your shoes are drenched. xD
I spent a lot of time thinking...

And I haven't cleared them out yet, but I'm trying my best. I'm not going to let anything affect my EOY results; not when I've been disappointed like this by my CT3 results.

Ouh, I won't be going to school tomorrow.
This bad cough says everything.
I swallow my saliva after coughing and I taste blood....

Toodles.
P.S: Thank you, Hui Pin, for constantly asking me if I was okay. I was lying. I'm not okay. =)

2006-09-11T03:31:00.000+08:00

Something seems to have gone wrong between them.

I'm confused.
I wouldn't want them to end.
Gosh..

Divya, Hidayah, remember that day we talked about how loving our boyfriends were towards us? That day will always be in my memory.. Always.. Let's just hope life goes for the better, okay? Hang in there, the two of you. ;D

Life should be lived to the fullest...
And friends should always be put before love..
Even when our heart tells us vice-versa..
=)

Anyways...
Most of you would have known this by now but...

RIVERSIDE WON THE BEST MASCOT AWARD AND BEST CHEERING TEAM AWARD FOR NJRC 2006!!!

Haha.
After weeks of gruelling long days, everything's finally over. It hurts in a way, knowing we have to end something this good, someday, someway. I'm going to miss those late nights crapping with all my dancers!! Especially the SHAKE onwards! And I'll thank each of them personally! Haha...

P.S.: I suggest you scroll down if you were not related in the dance because this is for each of them personally.. xD

Aisyah
My sister! For being the only one who could understand and relate to me without me talking so much. The one who cheered me up when I was going through the hardest thing... Betrayal from a friend.. Haiz.. Also for blanje-ing me when I was really out of money. Haha. Thanks dear, you rawk. ;D

Colin
My dance partner! xD Thank you soo much for being there for me when I was really down and giving me the advice and all those prep talks. It made me think a lot, and no matter what the outcome is, you influenced that final decision of mine. Heh. For sending me home those nights via bicycle shouting "MOVE HUMANS!" together. Hahaha! Ouh ouh! And also for treating me a lot of times and being so sweet and nice! ;D

Zu You
Horny Master!! May the force be with you! Hahaha. Thanks for giving all of us those wonderful times when you started us laughing cause of your extremely horny jokes! Haha. They really cheered me up; and also thank you for being so stressed up about the formation and for coming up with the dancesteps! HEARTS! ;D

Boon Siong
Yay! The funniest one! Hahaha! Thank you soo much for always making me laugh, adding on slight details to every joke Zu You made. Haha. For always camwhoring with Aisyah and me and acting cute when we asked you to. [You're very spontaneous. I like! xP] Haha. Thanks for dancing so nicely, too! I'm going to miss you! You rawk! Haha. ;D

Shawn
The latecomer! Haha. I really applaud you because you were really lost when you started learning the dancesteps... But within days, you could execute everything on time and in beat, and also because you were brave enough to pull it of, even with Hui Yi around... Thus, I'm very, very proud of you. Rawk on and remember to SHAKE IT! Hahaha! ;D

Eng Kiat
GIANT!! Hahaha! I'll always remember those days when you tried to copy my sexy moves and you couldn't! Haha. It was cute the way you always said "Wah, fierce sia.." every single time I gave you that look of mine. Haha. Thank you soo much for being so sweet about everything and for desperately trying to teach us the dancesteps! ;D

Patricia
My partner-in-white! Haha. Thanks for being so supportive about this dance and for letting go just like that! Haha. I remembered at the starting you were like, "You teach me how to shake ah.." Haha. I'm pretty sure I've taught you well. xP Classmates for ever and remember our one main passion... DANCING!! ;D

Li Ting
Whoa... Shaun's girlfriend! Ahaha.. Joking, joking.. But seriously.. Thanks for always laughing at my stupid jokes and always turning red cause seeing you turn red made me laugh even more. Hahaha. And yea, you're the sexiest! Haha. You're one of the nicest friends I've made and yes, yes, friends, and dance partners forever! ;D

Jia Min
Wheee~~ I like you a lot! Haha. Because you always called me cute when you looked so cute trying to say that. Hahaha! You are a great dancer and remember that dancing should be for life, yesh? Heheh. I love your dimples! Haha. I will miss those days dancing and also that night dancing under your void deck! Heh! Rawk on! ;D

Yong Shen
Sweet one!! Even if you weren't one of the dancers.. Heh.. Thank you soo much for accompanying Colin to send me home that night and also sending me home on NJRC itself! Haha. You're one very sweet guy and I hope she accepts you soon. Haha. You're really sweet, and you should stay this way. Haha. We'll all go out one day! Yay! Haha. ;D

Jun Yang
The hyper and horny master number 2! Hahaha! Thank you so much for letting us always practise at over at your house and also trying to learn the dancesteps with us! Heh. Yours jokes are extremely corny, but they rawk, and so do you! Haha. Stay adorable, sweet, cute and HORNY okay? [I still don't know how you can be all four characters at the same time.. xP] ;D

NOT FORGETTING..
SPACEJAM DANCERS!!!
I THANK ALL OF YOU FOR...

Jannah
For trying so hard to do the ripple and memorising the steps! I'll always remember how cute you were when you were doing the dance! Especially the starting jump! Heheh. ;D

Rasyiqah
For being very understanding when we gave the dress code out late at night the day before the final performance! Heheh. You're what I call a true dancer and well, you rawk! ;D

Khairani
For being the cutest and most sensible one in the Spacejam group! I thank you! Haha. For trying your best to "shake it the right way" in the AVA room, even with Mr Foo around! Haha. ;D

Marina
For being very cool about not performing on the first day [because of me] and yet dancing really nicely on the final day! You're a great dancer and you should be aware of that fact! Heh. ;D

Shadrina
For allowing me to literally PULL you into the dance! Haha. I know you were supposed to be in the formation and everything, but nevertheless, a big THANK YOU for dropping it and joining the dance. ;D

Farhannis
For being very understanding and for being my best friend! Although it wasn't the same without you around, we practised those few days together, and I'm glad to have such a wonderful dancer in the dance. ;D

Hana
For trying your best even though you knew you couldn't make it. And for jumping around and giving me the energy to go on by doing so! Haha. Listen to upbeat songs more; get a grip of the beats. ;D

Shafiqah
For coming and trying to learn those steps.. Heh. How come you disappeared halfway through? Haha. Ouh wells. Thanks for coming in anyway! ;D

And another BIG THANK YOU to all the FORMATION PEOPLE!!

We Spacejam dancers couldn't have done it without you! I don't know all of your names, but I thank all of you as a whole! xD You all were POWERRR... Hahah! ;D

But as they say..

All good things come to an end...
But I swear our friendship will never end.. ;D

Haiz...
But it's true.. Sometimes friendships have to end too, no matter how strong they are.. We just have to let go and move on. Fate works our way out. We can't force things to go our way, no matter how much it seems unfair for it to NOT go our way...

And ouh!!
Hahaha.
Seri was bullying me most of the time!
Unfair!
Ahahakz.
Rifhan bullied me last year; and this year it's Seri..
I wonder who it'll be next year.
Any takers?
It seems fun to bully me.
Hahaha. xP

Anyhoo..
Love is a very subjective feeling.
Isn't it?

I will miss NJRC '06.
I will miss shouting.
I will miss these precious memories... ;D

Good morning!
P.S.: I haven't slept at all. xD

2006-09-08T11:26:00.000+08:00

Ouh!

By the way..
I keep forgetting to do it..
Haha; but Yohannis asked me to do something..

5 years ago I was...
1. hated by my form teacher.
2. a prefect.
3. failing Maths.
4. in love with him.
5. in Mendaki. Hoho.

5 snacks which I enjoy...
1. CHIPSMORE!
2. SNICKERS CHOCOLATE!
3. BIG M STRAWBERRY MILK!
4. JELLY BEANS!
5. CHEESECAKE!!

5 songs which I know all the lyrics...
1. Who Knew [Pink]
2. I'm Not Okay [MCR]
3. Zombie [The Cranberries]
4. Stuck [Stacie Orrico]
5. Fall To Pieces [Avril Lavigne]

5 things I would do if I had a million dollars...
1. Give half of it to my family.
2. Buy a laptop.
3. Buy a 4-room flat to share with my friends.
4. Taste all the cheesecakes in the world.
5. Buy that Pink Convertible! xD

5 places I would runaway to...
1. Hamzah's house.
2. Anywhere, alone.
3. New Zealand.
4. A mosque far from here.
5. The old Fuchun School building.

5 things I will never wear...
1. Bikini?
2. Briefs? Hoho.
3. Braces
4. Metal stuff? Lol.
5. I don't know la. Haha.

5 bad habits...
1. Being too sensitive.
2. Being able to cry very easily.
3. Being too kind to people who don't deserve it.
4. Cutting myself.
5. Dangerous mood-swings.

5 biggest joys...
1. Passing Maths.
2. True 'love'?
3. Being with my sayang.. xD
4. Being able to perform on stage.
5. Being loved.

5 famous people I'd date...
1. Tom Cruise
2. Brad Pitt
3. Taufik Batisah
4. Usher
5. Eminem

5 people to do this quiz...
1. Divya
2. Jumalia
3. Yana
4. Diyana
5. Ezzati

Haha.
Okay tatash.

2006-09-08T11:01:00.000+08:00

I love my sister so. =)
Hahaha.

Shall not elaborate.
I didn't expect her to love me so much. I felt so loved yesterday. Haha. By her, at least. xDD Thankies kakak! Hohoho.

Ouh wells.
Yesterday was sucky.
I cried a lot.
A real lot.

Aisyah darling, I LOVE YOU. Hehekz. Well, we spent about 4 hours teaching her how to dance when she couldn't get even half of the steps right. Ahahaha! Pathetic sak. And well, she didn't deserve to have so much attention from Aisyah and me, considering the fact we could have went home and sleep instead. =___=''' Ungrateful bitch... Hahaha.

So she left to meet her boyfriend, and made it ouh-so-obvious.
I didn't take that fact too hard.
What made me hate her is how scheming she can be.
Even after she has promised..
Again and again and again...
And I've forgiven her COUNTLESS of times..
Hahaha... You know what?
She's so evil and heartless. x)

Aisyah and I stayed with her for so long, trying our BEST to teach her those SIMPLE steps, just to get ditched because she wanted to meet her boyfriend. That's so SELFISH. And nope, I do not have any RESPECT for her anymore. NONE at all. I look at her as though she's a worthless piece of shit now. Not that fertiliser-type, the food-poisoning-type. And she knows it. Good for you. Bitch...

=))

That refers to somebody.
Somebody VERY contradicting.
She claims to put friends before BGR, but she's a great big FAT liar! I hope she has a nice life feeling guilty. Hahaha!

And nope, I won't forgive her.

Enough of that, yesterday was energy-draining, and I hope today doesn't go as bad. I want to be in SYF!! Haha. No, not even the stress that I'm facing can make me forget dance. I love dancing, and will NEVER stop dancing. Hahaha!

Colin Da Ge sent me home again, and it was only fun at the ending, cause there was a continuous stretch of downhill.. Heh!

I have dance later.
I can only hope for the best.
Wish me luck.
I want to get in again.

Just now was stupid.
Only the three of us know...
Only the three of us...

I'll keep it hidden forever.
You know that it can never end...

Sayang, I miss you. =)
Toodloo!

2006-09-05T23:37:00.000+08:00

Whee~

Today was fun!
xD

I'm tired, and way past my bedtime [not that I have one], but I just HAD to blog about today. Hohoho.

Well, I woke up early and wandered around the house. I was extremely sleepy, but I was conscious enough to remember to burn the remix into the CD. Haha. So I did, and walked to school. Saw Farhannis and Rasyiqah at Woodlands MRT Station, left them to walk faster to meet Yohannis and Shikin instead. Hoho.

I didn't realise that my boyfriend was in front of me. Huhu. xP

So we went straight up to the Gym where we went crazy. Hahaha. I met two juniors, Li Ting and Jia Min. :D We couldn't do the cheers until 11am as there was a listening comprehension going on, and thus, Colin decided to teach me the remaining of our dance, which is indeed, very obscene. Hohoho. So we were doing it [lol] at the back of the Gym and all of a sudden I realised every head turned back to look at us. Haha!

And yesh, the movements are obscene.
Heheh. Thank you sayang, for understanding.. ;D

We moved to the Dance Studio thereafter, at about 11.30am. Practised the dance, especially the Spacejam part, and did some cheers. Something went wrong in the middle of everything and my dear Farhannis pulled out. I'm so sorry if I was being a bitch, Anis, and I just hope that you cheer up, okie?

Haiz.

Anyways, loads of thanks to my dear Yohannis, Rifhan Baboon and Ashikin for trying to cheer me up! ;D I hearts you all! Hoho. Patricia and Aisyah dearie did a great job too. Heh.

A very good job to all the Spacejam dancers, I'm proud of all of you! Keep up the good work and we'll be having that trophy in our hands very soon.. Heheh. ;D [Especially my group: Rasyiqah, Shafiqah, Patricia and Li Ting! xD]

So after most of the formation people went home, we went mad. Haha. The dancers, I mean. Hohoho!

Why, you ask?
Haha.

It's probably because Colin, Boon Shiong[sp?], Eng Kiat, Zu You, Shaun, Patricia, Aisyah, Li Ting, Jia Min and me were shaking our asses off! Hohoho! We were laughing and dancing and making stupid jokes, even when Mr Foo was there! Hahaha. Mr Foo's spontaneous. Heh. I likee! xD

So we danced all the way until 5.30pm and left school thereafter. Ate at this coffeeshop near school, courtesy of Colin Da Ge. xP [Wo ai ta! Hohoho.] Shared some secrets with Aisyah. [AKA gossip] ;) Heheh. I love you Aisyah dear, I'm always here for you, okay? Cheer up and smile more! Hearts! Heh.

So after eating, we went to this Multi-Purpose Hall near Woodlands Primary School, which is coincidentally near the blocks where my class did the whole school CIP. Heh. I am so going to miss those rocking days. T_T

I love 2/5e!!
Hahakz.. Semangat kentalan jek Sharifah... xPP

I was really tired since most of my energy had been drained out by the ass-shaking earlier on, so I was mostly lying down on the dirty floor and taking pictures using my handphone. Haha. There was a few times I tried getting hyper by doing splits, but it somehow made me even more tired. Ouh, for your information, I usually get VERY hyper after doing splits, my usual dancers should know. ;D

And OMG. I don't believe how horny Zu You was. Haha. It's cute, and almost unbelievable, to see somebody like him giving such obscene ideas and enthusiasm. Huhu! xP

Thank you, sayang, for messaging me. xD

And ouh!
The best part of the day was definitely the bike ride with Colin Da Ge! Hohoho. Heh. He sent me home via bicycle and it was a fucking nice ride. Haha. [Somehow, that sounds so wrong. Huhu!] But anyways, we were making jokes as he cycled and I stood at the back, and yes, it was cooling. I should learn how to ride a bicyle as soon as possible and ride at night. It's very, very cooling. xD

Mostly because the ride home had a lot of downhill ah. Heh.

So I reached home and mummy didn't scold me! Yay! Haha.

It was a nice day. =)
A nice day indeed. x)

I miss my Summer With Mary-Lou book. I want it back. Bluek. Life is funny. Haha, really, it is. xD

I have dance tomorrow at 8.30am and it's already 12am. That isn't a good thing, especially cause I've set my alarm at 7am. Haha. I'll go to sleep now then.

Toodles, dearies!
I LOVE DANCING!!
x)

2006-09-04T22:49:00.000+08:00

I can't help but feel out-of-tune.

I'm not particularly happy with how my family's working out.

It isn't even working out.

Priscilla, that phone call would help right about now. I just got screamed at for the most ridiculous reasons ever. The reason involves a cup, chocolate milk and my mother. Grrr. |:

Today was nice.
Went to watch Monster House with dear.
I found it a little too mature.
I mean, I was expecting it to be less scary and more humorous and cute, but the story-line had a mature feeling to it. Haha.
I bet majority of the kids in that cinema didn't understand the show. xP
It was quite emotional, too. Hoho.

I give it a 2/5 as a movie, mostly because I felt the storyline didn't click with the animation, except the starting where the really cute girl was lalalala-ing away. Hoho.. But I do have to applause the animation. It was 3D cartoon-like and it seemed almost real. Haha. Nice. Overall, it isn't a great show to watch, but it relieves boredom. xD

I was walking home when Maisurah called me. I'm so, so sorry dear. My legs were kind of hurting. Haha.

Ouh ouh ouh!!
I received a sms from Rifhan while walking back home alone just now... It was a very cute sms. Heh. Thanks, my dear Han Baboon. Hohoho.

I'm still uncertain.
I love him.
Yes, I do. x)

There's NJRC tomorrow. Gosh.. I hope I don't overwork myself. I got the warning from the doctor already.. Bluek.

I LOVE DANCING!
I LOVE GREY'S ANATOMY!
I LOVE MILK!
I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!

Hahaha.
Night, people.

2006-09-03T01:52:00.000+08:00

It Ends Tonight ~ All American Rejects

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight

A falling star
Least I fall alone
I can't explain what you can't explain
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight
It ends tonight

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight
It ends..

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight
It ends tonight

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight!

This song has a hidden meaning. A round of applause for those who understand who it really is for. Heck, I give you a standing ovation. ;D

To everybody who has hated me.
To everybody who hates me.
Let the hatred between us end here.
I declare peace with everybody. =)

Fly ~ Hilary Duff

Any moment, everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute, all the world can wait
Let go of your yesterday

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control..

Fly..
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine..
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
And start to try, cause it's your time
Time to fly..

All your worries, leave them somewhere else
Find a dream you can follow
Reach for something, when there's nothing left
And the world's feeling hollow

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control..

Fly..
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine..
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
And start to try, cause it's your time
Time to fly..

And when you're down and feel alone
Just want to run away
Trust yourself and don't give up..
You know you better than anyone else..

Any moment, everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute, all the world can wait
Let go of yesterday..

Fly....
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine..
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
And start to try..
Fly..
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
And start to try, cause it's your time
Time to fly..

In a moment, everything can change...

And this song.. Goes out to everybody who knows how sensitive I am.. Heh. I'll be cheering up soon. I just need time.

Life is beautiful.
Life is beautiful.
Life is beautiful.
I'm so glad I have him by my side.
I'm happy that he loves me. ;)

Set Free ~ Craig's Brother

I guess there's only one place to go from here
I think the options are clear anyway
I'm sure you're tired of waiting for me
To figure out where you fit in

I guess I'm afraid of what we could be
Cause I don't want to sell you short of your dreams
I'm sorry for making you wait for me
Cause I don't want to hold you down

But I don't want to set you free
I don't want to make you run from me

I guess it's hard to believe that I
Could make myself give up
After all this time you and me

Trying hard to make sense of our differences
Pretending we both had everything

I guess I believed in our fantasy
You only loved the one you wanted me to be
I'm sorry for breaking your faith in me
I don't want to hold you down

But what if you're more than I could please
Could you accept apologies?
I don't want to squander all your time
I don't want to mislead you
I think we both knew that it was done
Sorry I had to be the one
Sometimes I wish it were the other way around

I wish you weren't supposed to be set free..

This song is meaningful.
Read between the lines.
I'm deeper than you think.
And I love being me.

I love being ugly.
I love being nice.
I love being evil.
I love the way you smile at me.
I love the way you say goodnight.
I love the way you let me in.

=))

These three songs have a lot of meaning.
Figure them out.. Okay?
Shower me with love, care and concern.
For I won't be around soon for you to do so anymore..
I love everybody out there.

=)

I want to be happy.
Hahaha.

2006-09-03T01:31:00.000+08:00

Shareefah

Extremely Insane

Passable

Passable

Passable

Click Here to Find Out YOUR Psychiatric Evaluation
at
QuizGalaxy.com

Hohohoo.
Adorable.
I'm insane.

People, I told you.
I'm insane.
Somebody send me to the Mental Hospital?

Ouh ouh!
Check this one out!
xDDD

Kindness

Kindness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. You want someone who will go through everything with you - the best moments and the worst, and all of those other moments in between. You love to be able to say anything to your partner, and have them say anything to you. You are able to be extremely close with your partner for that reason.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Ouh!
Yes, yes!
My boyfriend IS kind!
Hahaakz.
I love him!! =))

Check the next one out!
It says a lot!
Hohoho.

You are a shy flirt

You are more inclined to leave anonymous love notes for your crush then go up and ask them out. You prefer to leave the ball in their court and see where it takes you. A lot of people find this style romantic, but sometimes you are going to have to work up the nerve and ask your crush out, because if your crush is shy too, you may both like each other and never know.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Hahaha.
Enough sniggering.
I'm snorting already.
Hohoho.

I'm shy!
Hahahahaha.
*Blushes*
Hohoho.
Kay, I need sleep.

OUH STOP BEING SUCH A DONKEY.
=P

2006-09-02T11:17:00.000+08:00

Yayness!
KK called last night!
Hahahaha...

It made me feel better. And also that longgg talk with Priscilla dear last night [after KK's call] made me smile too. Anyways Priscilla dear.. You cheer up okie? Haha. Guys are all the same luh. They're egoistic creatures. ;D

Lawl.
KK owes me strawberry milk, a trip to Sentosa and my birthday prezzie. Ahahah. He's so funny luh. I'm so fortunate to have him as a best friend. Hahah. [KK, you'd better be honoured. Hohoho.]

Thanks, Divya for tagging those meaningful tags. Heh. I'll cheer up soon, I'll be myself soon, I'll listen to your problems soon. Hahaha. I'll be SHARIFAH RAIHANAH once again soon too! Ahahaah. I love you soo!! ;D

But how soon depends on my life luh.
Things haven't been great really.

Need I say more?

Haha.. Nevertheless... I would like to dedicate this next paragraph to my darling boyfriend... =)

It was a blessing for us to be in the same class last year and this year.. It was a blessing for us to meet.. Every smile you give me makes me love you even more, and I thank you for being there for me even if you don't know what's wrong.. [Heheh. I find that so cute, by the way. ;D] I appreciate your crazy jokes that try to make me smile.. And I love you ouh-so-much.. We have a long way to go and let's make the best of every minute we have together.. You're a keeper, my dear Zailan. I swear you have my heart forever and ever.. =)

Heheh.
Yes, surprise of the century.
Haha.
I've got him.
And he's got me.
And we're going to last for eternity!

Ahahaha.
That's like a cheer!
Hohoho.
That's our cheer!
xDD

Yes people, I've cheered up. At least I know I have to, and every sms my boyfriend sends me makes me happier. Haha. I realise now that we just have to go with the flow... How we look at life is our choice. I can look at it negatively and self-mutilate and cry as much as I want, but why should I do that if I can look at life positively and laugh to every corny joke I hear and smile at everybody I see?

I love my nenek so.
She made me think of all these..
Hehehe.

She's been here since yesterday, the crying episode and everything. She doesn't know why I was so sad, but she tried her best to make me smile. Heh. I find that soo adorable. She said something like we should make the best of our lives cause we've only got one life, one chance. Haha.

She has inspired me.
LAWL.

She doesn't understand English though. Only a few simple words.. So practically 99.9% of what she said was in Malay. Haha. I didn't understand some stuff she said, but it made me smile even more. Haha. Adorable nenek... =)

SHOUT-OUTS

Maisurah, I'm looking forward to a swimming outing. Soon, yea?

Jumalia, Ezzati, Diyana, when in the world are we going to celebrate "World Badminton Day"??? Haha. Call me soon the three of you.

Insyirah, Amalina, Lyana, Hanisah, I can't wait for that outing to the beach. Soon, dears! <333

Priscilla, Divya, Michelle, when are we going to go shopping?? Haha.

Yohannis, Shaun, Borders bookstore tomorrow?? Haha. Yayness!

Khairul, when are we going to go Sentosa? Hahaha! Wheee~

Zailan, our date on Monday? ;D

Tiraa people.

2006-09-01T19:35:00.000+08:00

I can't stop crying.

Somebody, save me?

How could an angel break my heart...

She needs to cry no more; she has him by her side.. I'll smile from afar and wish the best for them. And at night when I'm alone, I'll cry eventually..

I want somebody to confiscate my handphone.

I realise I get a lot of heartache because of it.

The trouble at home adds on to the tears. I think I'll go blind soon. KK, call me soon. T_T

I think I've planned the perfect suicide. To eat sleeping pills and drown myself as the effect is taking place. And I won't forget to wear a pink gown.. So I'll be a pretty-in-pink ghost. Haha. =)

Great, things worked out the way she wanted... But ouh! Trust me, karma does exist. Every bad thing you do to others... It'll happen to yourself. Keep that it mind everybody.

I'm no longer the person everybody confides in.
And I'll be able to leave this world peacefully.

=)

I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from his heart
When I found out thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine

I heard he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

I heard her face was white as rain
Soft as a rose that blooms in May
He keeps her picture in a frame
And when he sleeps he calls her name

I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesn't make him laugh
Because his laugh belongs to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wish our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

Oh my soul is dying, it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

In the mean time, expect me to act the way I acted last Friday, [like a zombie]. I won't be okay for quite awhile, and I'm sorry, sayang. I love you so. =)

2006-09-01T12:32:00.000+08:00

I'm so FUCKINGLY crazyINSANEmadMENTALLY-UNSTABLEmentally-challengedRETARDED.

In my eyes, I've lost my best friends, I've lost a lover, I've lost my family [whatever left of it], and I've lost myself..

And..

I've found the strong bond of friendship we had between us, I've found myself a boyfriend, I've found a place in my family, and somebody, someday, somehow, shall find me again.

I won't be as weak as I was before. I'm not giving myself up to the feeling of heartbreak when I have a choice to experience real love. I won't falter under this pressure put upon me by God. I'm not going to cry until my eyes get red anymore. I won't cut myself just to make the people I hate happy. I'm not going to tell anybody my problems. Yet I won't keep it inside of me. I'm not going to return to what I was in the past. I won't think of past memories. And most importantly.. I'm not going to ~~fucking~~ give up!

I'm going to find out the meaning of love. I'm going to forget YOU. I'm going to forget YOU ever betrayed me. I'm going to forget the "strong love" we had. I'm going to throw you out of my heart and keep my heart locked. I'm going to give the key to my boyfriend and only him. I'm going to hate you forever. I'm going to BITCH about you the same way you BITCHED about me. I'm going to slap you once you have no control over me. And most importantly.. I'm going to ~~fucking~~ succeed!

HIAK HIAK HIAKKKK!!!

I hate you luh, fucking arse.
I hope you die a terrible death.
Slut, prostitute, fucking bitch.
Ahahahahahaa!!!!

May your fucking husband FUCKING CHEAT ON YOU!

You don't deserve friends.
Really, you don't.

And you, you retarded piece of crap. I wish you never find true love ever again! You didn't appreciate me for being there, and so you shall NEVER have me around you anymore again! Ahahahaa! You're a blooooooodyyy ~~fucking~~ shit-ass. And I hate you! Ahahaha! Go ahead, go with that bitch, you 2 make a PERFECT couple! Wahahahahaha!!

Okay, now I'm cured.

I'm so ~~FUCKINGLY~~ ~~crazyINSANEmadMENTALLY-UNSTABLEmentally-challengedRETARDED~~ HAPPYoverjoyedSATISFIED!

Lalalalas~
Ouh, this entry refers to 2 people.
Don't anyhow say who it is hor.
I didn't even tell anybody about this.
And woolala~

I'm attached, with my boyfriend. =)

Tatash.

2006-08-26T11:55:00.000+08:00

If you like "Grey's Anatomy", click here.

It's a nice video, and it made me cry. Haha.

I'm still not okay.
It's a miracle I passed Malay and Science.
Thanks, God.

Ouh, sorry. By the way...
HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST BEST FRIEND EZZATI!! Although you're aware that life at 14 sucks, enjoy it anyways, kay? I love you so. MUAAAX! xD

2006-08-24T19:24:00.000+08:00

The Blower's Daughter ~ Damien Rice

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

Dedicated to you, owner of the heart which I just broke, the one I loved, and did not want to hurt. I'm sorry.

I'm a bitch.

My brain's temporarily dead right now. I made a mistake once, and I made it again. Once a person said to me, "Do not what you want for others' happiness, but for yours." My happiness is knowing that my loved ones are happy. I may have lost a good boyfriend, but we learn from mistakes. He probably did a mistake by starting this relationship. I can't stop feeling guilty, but it's better if he got hurt now, rather than later, when we would have loved each other more.. Don't you think?

Let this be a chapter in my life..
A chapter that's sweet and short..
And one that I will definitely never, ever forget..

Days have been sucking, and my mind has been dreaming, a lot. I can't seem to get anything done, probably because of the strong confusion that was pulling my concentration away. I've been acting weirder than before these past few weeks, with his name repeating over and over again in my head.

I think the speed caused the end.
We were going too fast..
I was going too fast..
Who was I kidding?

I truly loved him though. I adored and thought of him so much that I dreamt of him. It's rare that I dream about boys, by the way. Haha. I dreamt of him numerous times, knowing that it was too good to be true. It was too good to be true... That's why I had to end it before everything turned fake. Haiz.

Again, Stupid Sharifah scores one, and every other boy scores zero.

She deceives you so fast that you only feel the pain which she gives you hurting you real bad by the time you realise that she's left you. She laughs her pain away, concealing everything, hoping time would past at the speed of light and she cries herself to sleep, knowing everything will be okay the next day. She regrets what she does and sticks to her memories, refusing to let them go, although she knows that she has to, whether she likes it or not.

To any boy out there, the above is a warning to what you may feel if you ever fall in love with the owner of this blog. I suggest you do not even have a crush on her, for she can sense when a guy is thinking of her, and she hurts you even more cause she enjoys seeing you suffer the pain she suffers. And if you do have a crush on her, abolish it immediately, lest you might never want to fall in love ever again.

Ah crap.
I just want to be single luh.

We have a friend name Mr T and I want him to be my boyfriend cause he's cute and sweet and tall and hot! I'll do well for my paper tomorrow and he shall give me one of his sweet though very rare sweet smiles of his! Whee~

Hurhur.
Toodles people.
I'll be dead for another week.

2006-08-19T14:35:00.000+08:00

I hereby declare that ice-cold Redbull with ice makes me stop crying. I've finished the whole can of it. Something mummy wouldn't approve of - me drinking one whole can in a day. But since she's at my grandmama's now, I took this opportunity to get high. It usually makes me get really high, but surprisingly, I'm too tired to get high now.

Hidayah, you HAVE to do that quiz.
It's a rule.
Hoho.

I drank it like it was Tequila or something. I drank it from this small cute glass, with a few ice cubes in it, filling it little by little everytime I finished the last sip of the previous one. I do believe it has helped me. Lalalas~

Fuck you, and you, and you, and you!!

Hohoho.

Somebody, be kind enough to buy Redbull for Monday?
I want the Gold colour one.
Not the new carbonated one.
That just sucks.

And ouh!
I don't want it from you.
Divya, it shall preferrably be you.
I'll update you on it on Monday.

Wheee~

2006-08-19T13:33:00.000+08:00

I KNOW IT'S HURTING HIM, OKAY?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUB IN THAT FACT.

I, SHARIFAH RAIHANAH, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT, ENJOY HURTING OTHERS, BUT IT'S NOT AS IF I HAD A CHOICE OKAY? NO WAIT. I DO HAVE A CHOICE AND SO I'M MAKING IT. OKAY?

Gosh.
When will I ever live happily-ever-after?

I'm beginning to lose hope in love.
Thanks for rubbing it in, jerk.

2006-08-18T21:04:00.000+08:00

Hoho.
Yohannis requested me to do this quiz thingy.
Lalalas~

1.Full Name: Sharifah Raihanah Binte Syed Zulkifli
2.Name backwards: Ilfikluz Deys Etnib Hanahiar Hafirahs xDD
3.Were you named after someone?: Err. I'm not sure. One of my nieces were named after me though. Haha. xDD
4.Meaning of name: A flower in Heaven. =________='''
5.Nickname: Sha, Shai, Nana, Banana, Da Jie.. Hoho.
6.Screen name: Shareefah
7.D.O.B: 4th July 1992
8.Place of birth: Singapura
9.Nationality: Singapuran. LAWL.
10.Current location: Living Room
11.Star sign: The Sensitive Cancer. x)
12.Religion: Islam
13.Height: A miserable 160cm.
15.Shoe size: 6
16.Hair color: Black
17.Eye color: Hazel! xDD
18.Who do you look like: My sister? =________='''
19.Innie or outtie: Errr.... Is this question referring to the *toot*? Haha. I'm an innie then. Hoho.
20.Lefty or righty: Right!
21.Gay, straight, bi or others: 100% straight! xD
22.Best friends: A lot leh.. Haha.
23.Best friends you trust most: Divya, Priscilla, Hazira, Jeannie, Yohannis, Ezzati, Jumalia, Diyana!
24.Favourite pals: MD4, GG, SHANIFAZYAN!!
25.Best friend of opposite sex: Khairul K.! Haha. And Afiq toos.
26.Best buddies: Classmates? Hoho.
27.Boyfriend or girlfriend: I have girlfriends and I am a girlfriend, but I have a boyfriend too.. What's the question again? xDD
28.Crush: Someone out there. Hoho.
29.Parents: Divorced; cause they hate me. Haha.
30.Worst Enemy: Procrastination
31.Favourite online guy: HAMZAH! Haha.
32.Favourite online girl: JUMALIA! TOL.
34.Craziest friend: Yohannis, Hana and Farhannis! xDD
35.Advice friend: Shirin, Mardhiah and myself?
36.Loudest friend: Mardhiah and Rifhan!
37:Person you cry with: Alone usually, but also with some others. xD
39.Any brothers: I have a brother, and a step-brother.
40.Any pets: BLUEK! My hamster died. T_T
41.Any disease: No comments
42.Pager: That is so history.
43.Personal phone line: Deng. Don't have. Whee~
44.Cell phone: A samsung E730 [9008****] xP
45.Lava Lamp: I want one!! I want a pinky one; but I don't have ah. Hoho.
46.Pool or hot tub: I don't like swimming; cause I can't. Hahakz.
47.A car: PINK CONVERTIBLE SPORTS CAR WITH BLACK LEATHER SEATS. [THE PINK SHOULD BE LIGHT PINK AND THE SURFACE SHOULD BE SHINY] SOMETHING YOU CAN SEE IN MOVIES PLEASE. HOHOHO.
48.Your personality: Emotional and sensitive.
49.Driving: I'm not even 18 yet.
51.Room: Room...? What room?!
52.What's missing: Him
53.School: Riverside Secondary
54.Bed: None, really.
55.Relationship with parents: I told you they hate me.
56.Believe in yourself: Seriously, never.
57.Believe in love at first sight: Unfortunately, yes.
58.Good listener: Ask around. xD
59.Get along well with parents: T_T Don't rub it in luh.. They hate me, okay? T_T
60.Save e-mail convos: I used to save those which are meaningful to me. I remember Yohannis and I used to save the conversations, and laugh at them. Haha. Memories. Hearts them.
62.Believe in reincarnation: Nope.
63.Make fun of people: Sometimes ah.
64.Like to talk on the phone: YES; but only with people who knows me really well and can tolerate my whining when I'm feeling down. Hoho.
65.Want to get married: He knows.
66.Like to drive: I don't even have a license la dey.
67.Motion Sickness: Ah? What's this?
68.Eat stem of broccoli: EEEK. I HATE VEGGIE. 'Nuff said.
69.Eat chicken with fork: Do chicken nuggets count? Haha.
70.Dream in color: Yep yep.
71.Type with your fingers on home role: What the *toot* is "home role"?!
72.Sleep with stuff animals: I SLEEP WITH MY ELMO! Hahaha!
73.Next to you: A table with my iPod on it.
75.On your mousepad: Nothing
76.Dream car: PINK CONVERTIBLE SPORTS CAR WITH BLACK LEATHER SEATS. [THE PINK SHOULD BE LIGHT PINK AND THE SURFACE SHOULD BE SHINY] SOMETHING YOU CAN SEE IN MOVIES PLEASE. HOHOHO. [I told you already what...]
77.Dream date: A romantic movie, dinner at a posh restaurant, fireworks[preferrably], a walk on the beach and a goodnight kiss. xD
78.Dream honeymoon spot: Switzerland, Paris, Australia? Somewhere cold! xD
79.Dream husband or wife: Funny, sweet, adorably-cute, taller, NOT over-possessive, understanding and trustworthy. [Got no guy like this one lor...]
80.Bedtime: Usually 11pm+
81.Under your bed: The floor
82.Single most important question: Why did my parents divorce?
83.Bad time of the day: When somebody pisses me off at the wrong time.
84.Your worst fear: Heights, insects[esp flying thingies] and clowns. Yes, clowns. T_T
85.The weather is: Windy and cold; I'm shivering. Haha.
86.Time: 11.32pm
87.Date: 18th August 2006
88.Best trick did on someone: Making someone believe he is invisible. xD
89.Theme song: Tomorrow by Avril Lavigne!
90.Hardest thing about growing up: Love, heartbreaks and such. Ouh! The education, too.
91.Funniest experience: Every memory with my crappy family is fun! xD
92.Scariest experience: THAT STUPID HIGH-ELEMENT THINGY DURING SEC 2 ADVENTURE CAMP WHICH I ACTUALLY DID!! Haha. And also watching The Eye! xD
93.Silliest thing you have ever said: "Let's have sex at my house tonight." HOHO.
94.Most desperate and funniest thing you have done to get the opposite sex: Nothing, really. Lawl.
95.Scariest thing while you are with your friends: When I get that mood-swing and I can't stop crying.
96.Worst feeling: Loneliness, heartbreaks and CONFUSION. :|
97.Best feeling in the world: Happiness, because of love.
98.AND NOW, THE SABOTAGING BEGINS!!!

CHOOSE EIGHT TO DO THE QUIZ.

1. Divya!
2. Jumalia!
3. Ezzati!
4. Hidayah!
5. Yana!
6. Hana!
7. Priscilla!
8. Maisurah!

Lalalas~

Whoa. That quiz made me type so much. Haha. Keh anyway, today was awful luh. Nevertheless... Thank you Hadi, for belanja-ing me and the others. Ouh! I failed Malay. Fuck la. Haiz. The morning was hilarious. She's cute. xP

P.E. was nice. I was shocked cause I could do the right split without stretching. Hoho. Recess was pretty okay, I hope Priscilla dear is feeling better. MT was like, omg. I sat with Yohax and I cried; cause I failed luh. Art sucked. I feel like smacking her. Ahahakz. Divya, we'll keep it hush. xD

The movie after school was nice. I mean, the show actually made me cry. Ahaha. It was funny ah, but it was so sad, too. T_T And it was freezing cold in the cinema too. Haha.

I walked home alone after the movie.
Something felt so wrong.

I need some time alone.
They're making me confused, and it sucks.

Tatash.

P.S.: Hadi, MSN is being a bitch, so I couldn't really go online. I'll talk to you tomorrow kay? Sorry and goodnight! xD

2006-08-17T19:36:00.000+08:00

I got scolded for no reason. T_T

I hate it when parents vent their anger on us. Hmpfh. Especially when we're not in the bloody damn wrong. I hate it how they accuse of us doing stuff we DIDN'T do. I hate it cause they always think they're right and we're wrong. =______='''

Anyways, today was nice.
It was weird looking at him.
"Sharifah, time heals everything."
Yeah, I hope so.

I feel guilty towards him luh.
One really likes me.
And the other has bought the rings [for him and for me] that I wanted so much.
T_T

Somebody, slap me?
I don't deserve to be so happy with him while those other guys are missing me. Bluek. That sounds so weird.

I felt so happy with him just now.
Yet that inner-me felt so fucking wrong.
Ughh. I hate this feeling.

English was okay, though I think I screwed up.
I'm expecting a D7 for it. Hoho.
Ouh gosh. Malay tomorrow.
I still can't memorise those peribahasas.
Sian diao...

I want you to get away from him!!!!

I feel so sick.
I think it's because of the cold wind just now.
I think I'll go rest.
BLUEK.

2006-08-16T19:16:00.000+08:00

Ouh! I am happy happy happy!

Hahaha.

Thanks to my dear him.. For cheering me up after that horrible incident...

Well everybody, I have a new life now, and I'm going to live it to the ****ing fullest. Hoho. This, I promise.

After school sucked just now. He made me cry and have thoughts of self-mutilation. For that, I detest him right now. We'll be friends luh. I just need some time away from him. The way he approaches me every time is just so.. Wtf. It pisses both me, and my friends off. It's as though he wants everything to go his way.. Though I can't blame him. =_____='''

I shan't say any more.
He'll accuse me of ruining his reputation.
SIAN DIAO.

But still.
He made everything better.
=))

OMG OMG OMG!

Common Tests start tomorrow! Aiyoyoh. Haha. Ouh! He confiscated my penknife. Haha. So cute. xDD He was being really really adorable just now. Thank you.

((=
TOODLES!

2006-08-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

The morning sucked, again.

Today is a HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY day!
Hahaha.

I shall not say why.
But he is officially MINE.
xDD

Toodles!

2006-08-14T22:59:00.000+08:00

This song's so sweet. Hoho. I love the tune. So.. Teenage-ish. Hahakz.

Well, if you blog-hopped to most of 2/5e students' blogs, you'd realise that almost everybody enjoyed today. Haha. Uh-huh, especially those lucky students taking Home Econs. Hoho. They had 4 free periods out of 6 periods, in the library. Haha. Lucky them. Haha.

Like I said, the morning sucked.
'Nuff said.

Maths
Ms Ng was absent, so we went to the library. The aircon was definitely spoiled cause we had to endure almost 15 minutes of HOTNESS in a stuffed room. Trust me, it wasn't a good experience. Most of us had mood swings by the time the aircon started working. xD

English
Mdm Chang didn't come, we remained in the library. Hoho. Crapped with Hidayah, Maisurah and Nadiah. Ouh! Not forgetting the boys, Zailan, Afiq, Jun Bin, Hadi and Indran. We tried playing truth or dare but had no time to do so. Hahaha!

Recess
I was blushing the whole recess.
Hazira and Jeannie knows why. xDD

D&T
2 periods, spent in that workshop, trying to complete that stupid design. I almost cried. The pain in my head was intolerable. Praise me for not shedding a tear. Though I swear I was close to crying. :|

IPW
Haha. Since Ms Ng didn't come, we combined classes with the ODD numbers and went to the Computer Lab. Fun stuff, cause we could use the computers with no restrictions. Haha. I love Mrs Cessaline Ong. Hoho. Divya and I had soo much fun blog-hopping and friendster-hopping. Ouh! Divya, thanks sooo much for the mentos in the morning. Too bad it finished even before D&T came. Haha.

F.T.
Since Mdm Chang didn't come, we stayed in our classroom and got supervised by Mdm Soh. Hohoho. The first 20 minutes, Afiq and I announced something to the class related to Teachers' Day. Went around the school thereafter with Hidayah, Rifhan and Nadiah to give out the Post-Survey forms. xD Lalalas~

Counselling was a ~~little~~ disappointing today. :|
Hazira and I cried because of him.
How pathetic. Haha.

Went home after I blushed a lot. Haha.
Bathed, and went out with Abang and Kak Juny.
Came back at about 9pm+.
Lalalas~

I'm tired luh.
My brain can't think.
And I'm aware that my blogging is so sucky-wucky right now.
Blame it on my brain.
Hoho.

Toodloo.

2006-08-14T17:30:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow ~ Avril Lavigne

And I wanna believe you
When you tell me that it'll be ok
Ya I try to believe you
But I don't

When you say that it's gonna be
It always turns out to be a different way
I try to believe you
Not today, today, today, today, today...

[Chorus:]
I don't know how I'll feel
Tomorrow, [tomorrow] tomorrow [tomorrow]
I don't know what to say
Tomorrow, [tomorrow] tomorrow
Is a different day

Tomorrow..

It's always been up to you
It's turning around
It's up to me
I'm gonna do what I have to do, just don't
Gimme a little time
Leave me alone a little while
Maybe it's not too late
Not today, today, today, today, today...

[Chorus Once]

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, I'm not ready
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow

And I wanna believe you
When you tell me that it'll be ok
Yeah I try to believe you
Not today, today, today, today, today...

Tomorrow it may change [4x]

Hoho. I dedicate this song to someone out there.
He knows who he is.

P.S: Sorry I didn't wait for you. xD

2006-08-14T13:23:00.001+08:00

YAYNESS!

I finally got through. After minutes of trying.
Haha.

I only have a few minutes left to blog, since I spent most of the period blog-hopping and friendster-hopping with Divya. Hoho. I love her so. xDD

Today sucked luh.
Quite a few teachers didn't come.
D&T was pathetic uh.

Ouh.
The morning.
I hated the morning.
Thank you, Zailan! <3

People who shout at Sharifah shall be hated by Sharifah until the end of the universe. Hohoho! I detest people who think they can CONTROL me. Love doesn't allow anybody to control anybody else. That thinking is just stupid. Blueargh.

Now I'm pissed.
I hate fevers and migraine.
EEEK.

2006-08-13T15:26:00.000+08:00

Haiz...

I officially detest Maths. :
My migraine attacks are getting worst by the second cause of it.
Hmpfh.

Ouh! Blog readers... I have an announcement to make...
Today is....

JENGJENGJENG...

World Badminton Day!!!
Hohoho!

Its not really official ah, so don't go telling everybody that it is. xD It was declared that every 13th is World Badminton Day by me and my crappy family. Muahaha. What would I do without them? Haha. xP

Anyway.. Guess what? I saw Faris when I went to eat at Causeway's Banquet yesterday night. Haha. I was shocked la, I mean, all of a sudden somebody practically shouted "Sharifah!". =______=''' Macam dah lame sangat gitu dah tak jumpe... Aiyoyoh. Ouh P.S. The wantan mee there ~~sucks~~ rawkz like yumyum. Haha. At least I think so. xD

Haha. I made somebody happy yesterday night.. At least I think so. Hahakz. I was high enough to even dare him to do it. He knows who he is, and let's just wait and see what happens, yea? Huhuhu.

I can't wait to go play badminton later!
Hahaha.

Toodloo!

2006-08-12T15:15:00.000+08:00

My headache is getting worst.
I'm going to off my handphone.

Contact me at night, if you have to.
Tatash.

2006-08-12T14:48:00.000+08:00

FINE!

I was concerned about you.
I couldn't stop thinking about you.
I dreamt of you.

And your 'manly ego' is getting the better of you. Maybe it's my fault, but I've already said I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I NEVER meant to hurt you. Never at all, but how much do you know me? How much are you aware of what my life is?! You know what? I'm still SORRY. And I just wanted to say that.

*Sighs*

See, this is what I was talking about. I didn't want our 2-year-long friendship to go to waste. All because of feelings that we aren't sure of. You get what I mean, now?

I HATE YOU.
And you bloody well know who you are.
I know you'd be reading this too.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.

2006-08-12T11:27:00.000+08:00

Ouhmagawsh.

Can you believe that Kids Central's Pokemon episode made me cry? Haha.

It was so emotional luh.
It reminded me of the first season of Pokemon.
The episode where Ash and Pikachu had to overcome so many obstacles just to reach the "Pokemon Centre".
Hohoho.

So sweet sia. =D

Ouh anyway, yesterday night was quite horrible. Seriously.
Anyways... Dear sent me to school. xD Then we had HL and Divya and I were just slacking away. Hoho. Then came PE. Ultimate yayness! We went to the Dance Studio and danced there. Ouh! How I miss the Dance Studio. It's been a week since I entered it. Hoho. Recess was fun. Thanks Zailan, for helping my buy those drinks. Lawl.

I'm worried about them.
Yet I can't be.

Mother Tongue was okay, I guess.
Art was ~~pathetic~~saddening luh.

I didn't understand a word Mr Goh said. :|

The quiz after school was scary. I was one of the last few to finish, all because I started late. Some dumbfuck's fault la. [This, refers to nobody in particular.] Then IRFAN AZAMAN had to piss me off even more. Haiz. Don't want to talk about it. It's settled anyway.. And again, after that, Muhammad Syamil Bin Bueari pissed me off, too. Haha. I think it was PMS or something luh.

Was really quiet for quite awhile after dear went for his Orals.

Then I finally lightened up and fooled around with my dear best friends. Heh. <33333 I was supposed to go out with them today but my body's feeling so lethargic and I can't concentrate on anything. I've been having a headache since yesterday. Yes, it is scary. :|

Let's hope I get better soon? xD

Thank you, dear, for making me so happy yesterday night.
Ouh! I want a wedding ring. I really really want one.

I may sound stupid, but I really want those nice nice types. With his name engraved on it. Wouldn't that be sweet? Haha.

It's a nice feeling to be in love.
I was thinking about what Jeanette said... [Or was it somebody else? Hoho.] Anyway, she said something like, "When you get attached, just remember to be prepared for a break-up, so you wouldn't take it so hard when it happens." Hoho. Quite true, huh?

I'm hungry.
Toodles.

P.S. : You don't have to make me feel worst by being so concerned about me. I was trying to move on. Still am. Maybe you should too. I don't want to end up hurting you as much as I hurt Syazwan. I don't want to hurt anybody who loves me this much. For your sake. For my sake... Move on. The dream you dreamt.. I dreamt it once too... As much as it may happen, you don't know me enough for that dream to come true. Forget me. ILU<3333

2006-08-10T19:44:00.000+08:00

I love him.
Yes I do.

And we're back together.

Didn't I say so?

Though he is in my heart.. I only keep thinking of you, and I...

There's school tomorrow.
Blueargh.

2006-08-10T00:38:00.000+08:00

I think the songs that Zailan blogs about are nice. Haha. Seriously.

Bleed Black ~ A.F.I.

I am exploring the inside, I find it desolate
I do implore these confines, now, as they penetrate, "recreate me"
I'm hovering throughout time, I crumble in these days
I crumble, cannot, I cannot find reflection in these days

(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust

I am destroyed by the inside, I disassociate
I hope to destroy the outside, it will alleviate and elevate me
Like water flowing into lungs, I'm flowing through these days
As morphine tears through deadened veins, I'm numbing in these days
So...

(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust

I know what died that night, it can never be brought back to life
Once again, I know
I know what died that night, it could never be brought back to life
Once again, I know
I know I died that night and I'll never be brought back to life
Once again, I know
I know I died that night and I'll never be brought back to life
Once again, I know..

Oh!
(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust
So!

(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust!

The drums and guitar of this song are so effingly nice. Haha. It rawkz, doesn't it? Hoho. It has a lot of meaning to me. Try to find the meaning out. Lawl.

9th August 2006 was great. Although it was filled with bad luck. Huahua.

Breathe in, breathe out.
Everything will be o-kay.

Toodles.

2006-08-09T14:38:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!!

Today is one of those days where I don't feel anything at all.

I hurt him.
And I'm very sorry for it.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Going out later to watch The Lake House and then catch the fireworks. Hoho. Fun fun.

I hope everybody realises that I tried my best, and it isn't easy being up there, performing, for you. Enough of what I didn't or did do. Move on. Duh. =___='''

I love Yohannis and Shaun!! <33333
Those times we spent together going crazy.
Hahaa.
Indeed this RI has gotten us closer.
Experiences that I will never forget..
Wheee~

Gots to get ready now.
Toodles.

2006-08-08T19:42:00.000+08:00

Such a memorable experience indeed.; the answer to Mr Kok WT. <3333

Today was great.

This experience I will never forget cause it opened me up to many angles of opinions. Hoho. I sound so sophisticated. But, seriously.

I shall join anger management class or something.
I saw something funny, but I doubt it's funny to her.

I am beginning to fall in love with this song luh.
[The song currently playing now.]

The lyrics has so much meaning. Lawl.

Today was a happy, happy day.
I am in love!
Hoho.

Toodles.

2006-08-06T20:26:00.000+08:00

Haha. I forgot to mention that on Thursday in Science class Priscilla and I had a very fun time crapping together. [That sounds so-extremely-ish gay.] Hoho.

We were bored luh.

So she put both her legs on top of mine.
And I shook my leg up and down.
Hohoho.

We called it i-galloping. Hohoho. It was fun luh, we laughed til our faces were red. Hahakz. I think Mr Tseng is beginning to dislike our class. They say; never judge a book by its cover. I think he should have learnt that by now. I feel sorry for him. I didn't expect our class to give him so much stress. :|

If you ever read this Mr Tseng, I'm sorry.

Maybe you could play hip-hop songs for your lessons? That would definitely set everybody talking positively about you. I like your cute-ness. Stay the way you are. x) Hohoh.

I'm so stressed up.
Stupid Maths homework.
Blueargh.

I do hope DarlingDivyaDear is okay. I'm so fuckingly worried about her. I hope she cheers up...

OUH BY THE WAY.

Today was great. =))
SERIOUSLY.
Other than the weird CC Cleaner staring at us all the time...
HOHO.

Met up with Yohannis dear, Shaun and Ken at the CC at 11pm. Went to the Market early in the morning first. xD Then went to meet them at 11am at the Woodlands CC. We got stared at by the Cleaner there. It was scary. We were taking pictures and everything. Hoho. I love them loads lor. <33333

After dancing and fooling around til 1pm plus, we headed to Bukit Batok to play BOWLING!!!! Hoho. We went there on this really weird and quiet bus... IT was so fuckingly VINTAGE. Hoho. I made a video of it. Shall upload it to youtube as soon as possible. There was this really weird woman in yellow... Hoho. Shall not talk about it. I'll laugh til I pee if I do. xD

So anyway, when we reached the Bowling place, we played like asses and laughed them off. Huhu! Shaun rawkz. Hahaha. Yohannis and Ken were even better. xPP We ate after that. Haha. And off back home! Huhu. I missed the Marsiling MRT Station stop and I had to walk back home, a longer way. Hoho.

I officially am in love with YOHANNIS, SHAUN AND KEN!!! <33333

Okay, toodles.

Who Knew ~ Pink

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you a friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

2006-08-05T17:40:00.000+08:00

Move Along ~ The All American Rejects

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong, we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

I find this song so fucking nice. It's Hidayah's blog song by the way. Limewire's being a bitch; so I can't really download anything. I don't know what's happening to me. I can't seem to concentrate in anything I do nowadays. Ughhh. Bad thing. Just now's auditions went badly. Never mind, there's always next year. =)

Saw KK and Zahid after a long time.
I was too busy to say hi.
Hahah.

Ouh wells.
I feel so bad.
I wasn't really speaking when we went to CWP.
I was there physically, but mentally missing.
Savvy?

I walked home although the pain in my leg was throbbing. I walked another way; probably to forget that yesterday even happened. It was all too fake anyway. Tears rolled down with every step I took. I saw a few Cheerleading Juniors from Fuchun. They were shocked to see me crying, but I smiled and walked on.

Today was the worst crying episode ever.
I felt so alone when I reached home.

Nobody was around so I cried like nobody's business. I felt so tired of everything. I felt so lost. So.....

Alone.

Thank you, my sweetie, for trying to make me stop crying. I felt so stupid. I was crying when it worried him a lot.

I tried to contact him after that.
It was unsuccessful.

Before it all turns too fake, I guess the best solution is to stop everything now. A clean break should be the answer.. It seems as if his friends are trying to help me with the forgetting part. The effort is much appreciated, but I think I'll help myself with it from now onwards.

The way you help me with it..
Makes me feel unwanted. :|

So I'm moving on.
It's going to be hard.
Very hard.

But life IS hard.. Right?

2006-08-04T23:44:00.000+08:00

Whoa.

I blowed up.
- Big time.

I'm supposed to be sleeping now; but my brain won't allow me to do so.

She cried just now. It could be because of me. Well yea, I cried too. It's not MY fault that everything isn't in place. She has mood swings, well so do all of us too. Things don't always go your way. :|

That's something you have to realise.

Dance was okay.
I think I danced weirdly today.
Somebody who's trying to copy my every movement pissed me off.
A LOT.

My throat hurt from all the shouting and counting of beats. It hurt even more since I was coughing and my throat was dry; very dry. I couldn't stop thinking of them. It pissed me off. My thinking, of course.

Drank HL Chocolate Milk and a bottle of mineral water for Recess.
Whee~

ML was okay luh. There's loads of homework that I plan to do over the weekend. I sense it's going to be a very busy weekend.. We have to re-do the Malay Project sehs. Haiyoyoh. All that time being so stressed up for nothing. Now we have to get stressed up again. =______=''' Diao..

Half of Art Period was spent at the toilet with Maisurah. Haha. Then we rushed back to the Art Room where I panicked when I realised there was only 30 minutes left and drew stupid stuff on my paper. Haha.

After school was just plain nonsense la.
Thanks to Mardhiah for cooling me down. <3

Syamil sent me home. <3
We walked the whole way and I was crying.
It was weird; walking with him.
When we reached my block we I got emotional.

I cried til my eyes were red.
I wanted to hold everything in til I landed on the bed.
But I couldn't stand it anymore.
I couldn't hold everything in anymore.
So I cried for practically an hour.
As my neighbours watched on by.

Ugh.

He comforted me real nicely.
Thank you, Syamil. <3

Just when we were about to talk about US, my brother had to see us and ruin everything. He saw me crying and he was like, "Apasal ngan die?" Haha. I didn't expect him to be THAT concerned about me. Lawl. He had a good intention and told us that my mother was in one of those moods. So Syamil psycho-ed me into going back home while I obediently followed my brother. Ouh! My brother got a Motorola V3x. I am jealous; but I won't show it. xD

Things I did after I reached home:

Waved to Syamil.
Fell on the bed.
Cried some more.
Slept.

And here I am; awake and feeling sick.
I don't feel like dancing tomorrow.
I hope everything goes okay.
Haiz...

Toodles.

2006-08-03T23:31:00.000+08:00

Right Here Waiting ~ Richard Marx

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Isn't the lyrics of this song just really so sweet? Haiz.. I dedicate it to a special someone out there... Most of you would know who he is.. But I doubt he'd ever realise that I ever posted this entry for him.. That's sad, isn't it?

I miss him loads luh.

Lately I've been feeling that maybe love just really cannot be understood at this young age. Probably what the adults say are true. Our duty is to study and get good grades; we should talk about love only after we get a stable job. Hurhur. Yet there's that undeniable fact that love is a feeling which cannot be avoided. It's a feeling that each and everyone of us would feel at one point of time in our lives. Haiz.. Love is supposed to be the word of joy.. But why is pain so common in love? [I'm not talking about physical love, aka, sexual intercourse here. I'm talking about emotional love, ya? :D]

Can somebody just tell me the answer?
Ouh I'm not only talking about BGR love by the way..
I'm talking about Friendship-family love too.

I miss her.
I wish we could turn back time to those days when we were in camp. When everything was so much real. When everything was in its place. When everything had a meaning.. I just hope she doesn't do it again.. I can't tolerate any pain anymore..

Ouh. Jay got out of Singapore Idol. So sad. He's one of the really cute finalists; with his facial mask routine and everything. Haha. <3 I wish him all the best.

Toodles people.

2006-08-01T22:23:00.000+08:00

SECRETS.

What's the meaning of it?
Some people just take "secrets" lightly.
Well, I'm not one of those people.
Thankyoutheverythemuch.

I'm ultra-pissed-off right now.
And I don't even know by what.

QUIZ!!

Why is Sharifah angry now?
a) Somebody ruined her morning by making her cry.
b) Somebody betrayed her trust.
c) Somebody didn't send her home.
d) Too much homework for her to handle.

Tell me your answers via taggie.
Lawl.

That's ~~pathetic~~funny, right?
Come on, laugh with me.
Not AT me.
Hurhur.

Ouh wells.
Today was slightly better than I expected luh.
Besides that morning episode and whatever not.
I'M OKAY. :D

I'm not going to let the world bring me down. :DD Haha. I think I sound like Barney right now. As in, the Purple Dinosaur. Hurhur. He's so adorable la. His hands are like, stuck to his body. Haha. xD

Enough crap. Can't wait for this Saturday. MD4 rawkz!
Hahaha.

P.S. This year's national day song seems quite nice, I mean, I didn't expect it to be as nice. Haha. - Greater reason to be happy&okay.

2006-07-31T21:57:00.000+08:00

Today was an average day.

Not so much fun.
Not so much pain/anger/shits.

I realise that sometimes, we fail to see that everybody has negative points about themselves.

Haiz..
Never mind.

I'm not perfect.

Curse the stupid Riverside Idol. It has caused so much pain to my life. Grrr... And my voice... To think it's betraying me when I need it the most. Bluek. "You're better off singing at a lounge...." ~ I can just imagine the judges saying that. Huhu. But wait, there aren't going to be any judges. Wheeets. I'm going to have fun on the stage people. Watch me. xD

I'm going to make everything right.
It's MY life.

Toodloo.

2006-07-30T13:43:00.000+08:00

I feel like skipping school tomorrow.
I just need a good rest.

I'm sick.
My eyes look as though bees stung them.
I can't speak.

And nobody cares...

He isn't there for me anymore
He doesn't even care
He's left me broken on the floor
His happiness; he'll never share

He has everything she wants
And so his broken dreams reform
I'm counting down those short months
Before he gets to perform

I have nobody near me
No one who even listens
He gives me negative popularity
But she, ouh she's so different

He looks at me and I cry
As I remain a worthless imbecile
It doesn't matter if I die
Cause I'm no longer worth his while

I'm never going to be perfect again
Not without your soft touch..
Casting a delicate spell upon my brain..
Ouh darling.. I miss you ouh-so-much..

Haiz... Sometimes I feel like turning time around and re-writing history. I miss you.

2006-07-29T23:57:00.000+08:00

Someday - Nickelback

How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists, and unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
But don't think it's too late

Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway
That we could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

[Solo]

How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when

I just hope I'm not too late.

**It may be alright to love somebody at a distance, but I wasn't made for that and what a friend said remains true. If you love somebody, don't regret the action of keeping shut about it. Regardless the many consequences, I'm going to try my luck. And I hope things work out.

Toodloo people.

2006-07-29T19:04:00.001+08:00

I'M LYING.

I can never forget him.
I should learn how to accept that.

Who was I trying to kid, you may ask... Truthfully, I don't know myself. I guess I'll return to that pathetic state I was in during Primary School. The way I'm feeling now is like how I felt when I fought with Hidayah and Maisurah. Losing something I held so dearly to my heart. It took me a shorter time to forget the pain with them.. Because I hold him closer to my heart..

I don't think I can forget him.
The pain he brought.
The joy he gave me.
Everything we did together..

I never expected love to be this hurtful.

I'm feeling so alone; pressing the penknife to my wrist. Two types of images are playing in my head now. Negative images run through my head - seeing him with another girl, me being alone in a big world - they're getting harder to erase by the second. Positive images slowly fade away - getting the dream I always wanted...

I wished it never rained.

And who do I tell all this pain to? As much as my brain tells me that others are suffering more than me.. I just can't help but cry.. Cause I am no longer that strong girl who gives advice.

If any of you here are laughing, I hope you choke and die on your laughter.
Cause it's disgusting how you can be happy by someone's misery.

I miss him so..

2006-07-28T21:56:00.000+08:00

Yes, like duh.

I broke up with him.
So what?
Hahah.

Keh, who am I kidding? Break ups are the hardest thing to go through in this funny thing called love... But ladies and gentlemen, this break up is necessary for me to move on.. =) I will leave it here.

My eyes are tired from crying.

--------------------------------------------------

YESTERDAY WAS MD4 DURIAN DAY. =))

Heheh.
Today was sweet. xD

Went to school with puffy and swollen eyes; from all the crying yesterday night. HL was fun. Seemed as though the period passed extremely fast. Wheets. I went crazy during PE. When the bell rang for PE... I ran to the Hall, jumped around, did a centre split and went down, jumped up, spinned around and around and around, did a left split, did a right split, arch and finally, sat down. I was feeling hysterical and restless during PE. Heheh. Thank God I had to do the 5 items for NAPFA. I don't know how I would have survived with that pathetic routine. Nyeh.

I'm officially getting a GOLD for NAPFA.
*Beams*

Recess was weird. I spent the whole 30 minutes doing duty; when I wasn't suppose to. : Weird, isn't it? Hahah. I totally blew my Bahagian B of Malay's Common Test 3. I wrote nonsense for that question. I was somehow thinking of suicide as I wrote it. Hmm..

ART was hilarious. Zailan is soooo adorable. Need I say more?

Handed him his towel after school. I wished I didn't have to. It hurts when you're just about to get really attached to something and somebody snatches it away right in front of you. To make matters worst, you see the whole process and allow it... 'Nuff said.

ACES Day Training was FUN STUFF. And I totally mean it. Miss Zizi was totally hip. Ms Jenny could win her hands down though. xD Wahaha.

Riverside Idol auditions were okay.. I think I made somebody angry at me, but I really didn't mean to. I'm sorry.

Hadi sent me home.
I had to endure the comments in the bus.
I had to hold back my tears.

I cried again when I reached home.. I wonder how long this will continue. I won't allow it to. Not for long. Give me a week. Or maybe, a month. It'll be at most, a year. I promise.

Things turned for the better after I recovered from the crying episode. I was sleeping soundly when Mdm Lim [I think] called to inform me that I've gotten through the finals for RI. I was elated. Yohannis and Shaun got through too. He added on to my joy after that episode. Heheh. I love you so. Let's just keep things a hush, yes?

For now, I'm single and will be until I'm ready.

Toodloo!

2006-07-27T21:34:00.000+08:00

Today, was eventful. =))

Ladies and gentlemen, he no longer belongs to me and thus, I no longer belong to him. =) I wish him all the best in his future..

I love you so..

2006-07-24T20:07:00.000+08:00

Today was hilarious. Muahaha.

I can't stand her face anymore. The way she acts blur and everything. It's starting to get on my nerves. I know it's starting to get on Jeannie and Hazira's nerves, too. xD I'd usually speak up for her, but after since THAT incident... Hahah. I think she's just pathetic. She thinks she's so attractive but she fails to realise that no sane boy would give her a second look. Muahaha. BLACK BITCH. Huahuahua!

=D

That paragraph, my dear friends, is meant for only one special person. A person I've disliked since God-Knows-When. Muahaha.

What Haz says is true. People are getting caught up with looking pretty that they no longer realise that the inside is more important anymore. I'm just so sick of these kind of people. xP

School was fun today. Even though Priscilla was in a very bad mood during D&T, Maths was the first period, and every teacher was present today.. Everything was covered up. xD Baby was nice enough to be patient with me throughout the day. A sweet ending indeed. Heh. Spent quality time with my dear best friends after school and I actually enjoyed lessons today. xD

Maths was a tad too boring though... And Mdm Chang wasn't really in the best of moods during English. More than half the class stood outside the classroom for 15 minutes. That's not what she would do, usually. :

There was an outburst of ideas during Music. xD Ouh! Zailan is so adorable. Wahahakz. It's not long before I'm going to be one of those students who have the I-L-O-V-E-M-U-S-I-C sign pasted on my forehead. Nyehaha. D&T was FUN. Need I say more? [It was fun because Pris, Nad and I talked about irrelevant stuff.] xP IPW was a success. I think. Hehhh. CD ended the day, great. x))

Divya, I know what you're thinking. xDD

Okay lah. I'll be a good girl and finish up my Maths now. Wheee~

TOODLOO!

2006-07-23T18:53:00.000+08:00

I think I'm going to get sick.

I am so, so, so sorry to Rifhan, Hidayah, Maisurah & Afiq for just now. I guess there's no further need to explain myself. I feel so lost.

I need enlightenment.

Haiz...

I hate you. Just because you're older you think you can treat me in an unjust manner. I hate the way you scream and demand that I do the things you want me to do. I'm tired of you complaining to me, when I don't even confide in you. WAIT. I find you pathetic. You keep abusing your relationship with me to make me feel so useless and stupid. When the truth is you are what you say. I hate you so.

At this point of time, I'd say I need my penknife... But now, I think I just need sleep. Let's close our mouths and move on, people. I have the Dreamland Express to board. Tralala~

I miss my friends.
I miss them so much.

2006-07-14T13:42:00.000+08:00

Muahaha. I've not forgotten this little dear blog of mine. Of course not. Never.

A lot of things have happened.

And trust me.

They weren't great.

Things I did over this week:

1) Break down during a phone conversation. -Badly.
2) Skip every meal. [Like always..]
3) Advise this particular friend on his/her problems.
4) See the Counselor again; with Hazira.
5) Finish school assignments on time.
6) Cry myself to sleep every night.

NYEH.

I'm bored.
I can't wait to reopen this blog.
Ooouh.
How I love it so.

I have the weirdest feeling that that stupid sister of mine has deleted all my files in her laptop. eeeek. If she did that, I swear upon God that I'll ask Dad to stop paying the instalments for it. Hmpfh.

But anyways, life goes on...
And yea, I guess I'll stop here.
I'll try to update soon.
x)

Toodles~

2006-07-04T23:38:00.000+08:00

Today went okay. =D

LOADS AND LOADS OF THANKS TO....
Afiq, Afifah, Ezzati, Khairul, Hazirah, Hazira, Zafirah, Kakak, Mummy, Walid, Akasyah, Bibi Fauziah and Fairuz, Yohannis, Hamzah, Syamil, Priscilla, Patricia, Michelle, Violet, Fadilah, Hakim, Hana, Aisyah, Hidayah, Maisurah, Insyirah, Taufiq, Rifhan, Mardhiah, Aidil, Hadi, Farhannis, Marinah, Divya, Nadirah, Tavin, Ken, Nandhini, Jannah, Armeeza, Diyana, Jumalia, Fadhly, Zailan, Nadiah and the list goes on and on and on...

=))

I'm grateful.
For wishing me all the best.
I love all of you so.

They're in no particular order, though I think the bolded ones are those who did more for me in this past year. =)) I thank you. All of you.

Today was okay I guess.
Got chided in the morning, but it was my fault.
Felt moody after the chide the whole day.
Lessons were okay.

Science was particularly boring today.
I swear I could have fallen asleep.
There was no English and Maths cause Mdm Chang and Ms Ng weren't in school. Ouh! How 2/5e rejoiced. Haha.

During recess Hazira tried wishing a loud happy birthday song for me. Heh. It wasn't successful, but I thank her so. I admit I wouldn't dare to do so. Heheh.

Swimming wasn't okay.

So far, the present that I like the most is: The watch that Hadi gave me.
Hehehkz.

Toodles!

2006-07-03T16:24:00.000+08:00

I received my very first 14th Birthday Present yesterday.
It's a "How to Write and Speak Better" book.

Heh.
Rather unique.

I got it from Bi Fauziah. One of my aunts. Heh. Thanks! xD

I hope tomorrow goes well.
And how I wish we'd get back together..

And ouh!
Below is the present that Kakak claims she's giving as a birthday present. =.='''
Should I be glad?
Hahaa.

Toodles people!

2006-07-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

Ouhmagawd.

Jia Fang's blog song is soo nice.
Although it can get irritating after awhile la.
But it's very, very sweet.

It reminded me of P.S. I Love You.
And because of that, I want the VCD!
Hahaha.

Now I'm listening to all those emo songs.... From the movie la, of course.. Gosh. So nice la. Hahaha.

I have tuition later.
I hope I come back fast.

I feel like crying la. I really want to watch that show again. It's so.. Touching neh. Haiz... Really, really sweet.

Okay, despite the time constraint I'm facing right now, I shall take the time to blog what the show is about. xD

It's about this designer who loves eating Tiramisu meeting a guy who can draw really, really cute cartoon-type of drawings.. They accidentally switched mobile phones.. And they became friends.. Then they went for this "love camp" coincidentally.. And then they got into a relationship.. And the way they bond is really cute.. Then the guy draws this beautiful and simple drawing of him and her getting married and a church on one of the walls of her home for Christmas.. And he makes the promise to always be there for her... Then when he returned home.. He had to rush to Indonesia to see his father because he was sick.. And he never returned..

Back in Singapore the girl was left waiting for him.. And she never stopped thinking of him.. She even got into an accident because she was so absent-minded.. Then she decided she had to move on.. She rented her house out to a friend... And got cheated while trying to buy another house.. So she had to share that house she bought with another guy who owns a flower shop and went to the "love camp" as well.. Although they have totally different characters.. They learn how to understand each other and the guy falls for the girl... Just as the girl was about to fall for him too, a guy who looks exactly like her boyfriend appears...

It turns out that her boyfriend died in Indonesia due to the Tsunami.. He returned as the girl's "Guardian Angel" to protect her and get the other guy and her together so he has nothing to worry about.. In the end.. Everything is a blur..

Haiz.. This movie rawkz.
It's such an... Unreal fantasy..

Woopsie.
Gots to go now.
With loads of love, sweet love..
Shareefah~

2006-07-01T22:35:00.000+08:00

The song Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional keeps on repeating in my head. It's like, earworms. Haha.

Yesterday night sucked.
No comments.

At least I know whose house to go to if I'm going to run away or anything like that. Huahuahua. Days have been okay la. Yesh. I see the school counsellor. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Keh? Case closed.

Fought with my sister yesterday.
And I can't remember the reason.
Ouh wait.
I do.

She spilled roti prata curry onto my PRECIOUS handphone.
Accidentally.

So I got pissed. Like, I've had it for less than 2 months, yesh? And now it stinks of curry. Thank god the chlorine got some of the smell off. Well guess what happened after the spill? We fought. Literally. Haiz... I never want to mess with her when she's in one of those mood swings again. No, wait. She shouldn't mess with me when I'm in one of my mood swings. Especially cause she was really in the wrong instead of me.

Eat dirt.
I know you'd read this.

I cried the whole night. Slept at around 2am. Called Rifhan to confide. Everybody else switched off their handphones... Or they didn't pick up. Like they promised to.. Haiz.. But anyway.. Thanks Rifhan.. It helped a lot, that talk. (:

I was supposed to reach dad's house at 9am, but I woke up at 9.50am. Ouh! The irony. Called him and informed him that I'd be late. The journey there was okay, I guess. I regret not asking. I regret not asking. I regret not asking. Haha. And nope, nobody knows except me.

Akasyah got a new bike. People, I officially declare that I need a cycling coach. FOC, please? Haha. It's time I learn how to cycle, yesh? Huahuahua. And yes. If you're laughing your ass off now due to the fact that I can't even cycle, stop laughing.

Cause I've learnt how to swim. *Beams*

The journey back to Woodlands was okay. And again, I regret not asking. I regret not asking. I regret not asking. [Don't ask "Regret asking what??". Cause it's for me to know, and for you to find out. xD]

Went swimming with Yohannis and Maisurah just now. It was fun la. Although very weird. Ouh. Ernest was there too. =.= I tried coaching Yohannis the basic steps and yesh, she rawkz. x)) Ouh ouh ouh ouh! Can a FOC swimming coach teach me how to swim, properly? Haha. I heard comments from Yohax that my swimming style is weird. That ass can bloody well fuck off la. [P.S. Not Yohannis.] xDD

Went home in a bus.
Waited for over 15 minutes.
But alighted after 2 bus stops.
Huahuahua.

It was dark la.
Lawl.
Keh. So that was my day.

There's tuition tomorrow.
Scared?
I wonder...
Toodles people!

2006-06-28T18:28:00.000+08:00

Honey...

You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin
You're my Sweetie Pie
You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop
Snoogums-Boogums,
You're the Apple of my Eye
And I love you so and I want you to know
That I'll always be right here x)
And I love to sing sweet songs to you
Because you are so dear

Hahaha.
This song is nice.
Today wasn't great.
What's new?
Afiq, I'm beginning to cry more.
Haiz..

2006-06-27T21:37:00.000+08:00

Set Free [Craig's Brother]

I guess there's only one place to go from here
I think the options are clear anyway
I'm sure you're tired of waiting for me
To figure out where you fit in
I guess I'm afraid of what we could be
Cause I don't want to sell you short of your dreams
I'm sorry for making you wait for me
Cause I don't want to hold you down
I don't want to set you free
I don't want to make you run from me

I guess it's hard to believe that I
Could make myself give up
After all this time you and me
Trying hard to make sense of our differences
Pretending we both had everything
I guess I believed in our fantasy
You only loved the one you wanted me to be
I'm sorry for breaking your faith in me
Cause I don't want to hold you down

But what if you're more than I could please
Could you accept apologies? [You couldn't..]
I don't want to squander all your time
I don't want to mislead you
I think we both knew that it was done
Sorry I had to be the one
Sometimes I wish it was the other way around
I wished I weren't supposed to be.. Set free
I don't want to make you run away

I learned how to swim.
I'm sorry Rifhan.
Keep everything a hush.
May all of you have nice birthdays.

Irfan, I doubt you'd be reading this.
But I'm pretty sure my eyes are getting retarded.
From all the tears I've been crying.

Thank you very much.

2006-06-26T20:19:00.000+08:00

Today sucked.
Any questions why, people?

Ouh by the way, my handphone dropped for the first time ever in class today. For the lamest reason ever. And the baby lobsters sucked.

FUCK YOU FOR LYING TO ME.
I detest liars.
Especially when you do it over and over again.
I hate you.

Have you ever had the feeling that you knew a person you love was betraying you, yet you still continued to love her/him, with all your heart?? For hope that what you knew wasn't true?

Haiz...

He doesn't have AIDS.
He doesn't.

And to think I felt something...

The end.

2006-06-25T04:41:00.000+08:00

I miss him.

Terribly.

It's 4.39am, 25th June 2006. I can't get to sleep. I'm feeling too restless. So I decided to read blogs. I read his blog. His personal blog. Our blog. Our private blog. And my blog. My personal blog. It made me cry.

In fact, I'm crying now.
I miss him so.
I can't even get to sleep.
Haiz...

Where'd you go? I miss you so...

2006-06-23T22:37:00.000+08:00

FINALLY.

A day to enjoy.
HEEEE!!!

Today was FUN FUN FUN FUN FUNN!!!

P.S. I haven't done my homework at all. Wheee~

Okay, today was tiring and extremely fun! Heheh. Pak Long, Nenek, Mummy and I were in the car on our way to Johor by 9am. Heheh. It was fun la.. Although the trip to our destination was long, we got there anyways. x)) OUH OUH OUH! We ate at this shop before heading to her house. And there were really cute Johor Mats there!! LAWL. Keh, keh. I'm kidding. xD They were like, singing Malay jiwang songs at the top of their lungs. So cute la. Haha. Keh anyways, we spent a lot of time at her house. Her, by the way, is Pak Long's girlfriend. xD

ANYWAYS!

Mummy and I were really, really, really ADDICTED to the beach there. Gosh. It was beautiful. Heh.

I WOULD UPLOAD THE PICTURES IF I HAD THE TIME. BUT UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S LATE AT NIGHT AND I'M WAYYY PAST MY BEDTIME. I need to abide my house rules again cause school's starting in like, what, 2 days? Lawl.

Okay anyways.... WE CAUGHT BABY LOBSTERS!!! Hahaha. And they are so adorably cute. Lawl!! We caught 2 Flower Crabs too. Haha. And guess what? Most of the lobsters are still alive. Haha. Wheee~ They stink though. Ughh. Seawater. xD

BUT TOO BAD LA...
I'm going to eat them.
ALL OF THEM!
Huahuahua!!

The ride back home was okay lurh. Today was peaceful. It's quite rare that I feel this way; especially cause I haven't completed any of my assignments. REST ASSURED SHARIFAH. I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOUR ASS COMPLETES EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE BY TOMORROW 10PM.

HAHA!

Okay so that means the next time I'm blogging is like, MONDAY! Hahaha, wheee~
Okay now I really gots to go.
TOODLES PEOPLE!

Quote of the day: "Life is short, so as much as we should enjoy it to the fullest, we should learn from mistakes and never bear grudges." - Mummy darling.

TAAAAAAS!!!
xDDDD

2006-06-21T22:23:00.000+08:00

Last week was okay.
But anyway...
I watched Cars!!!
Haha, whee~~

Last week was fun la.. I can't remember everything... But 13th June 2006 was the World's First Badminton Day... Heheh. It's self-proclaimed by the way. xD Yana and I got to know each other better. Heh. Jumalia and I are much closer now... And well, everything's much into place. Yea... I guess.

After that.. Episode.

Okay, I shall zip about it. So yeahs.. I watched CARS today!!! Wheee~~ Hahaha. It's such a nice show. And yes, Owen Wilson is HOTT. Heheh. I'd give it a rating of 4/5. xD Yay! Hahaha. Okay, let me recap my week so far.

Monday

The Council Farewell Party was held.. Was really sweet la.. With the pinkish cake and stuff... I loved the ending MOST! Wahahaha! To think that Hidayah, Maisurah and I were repeating to ourselves that we WOULDN'T get wet.. Lawl. In the end, we DID get wet. No wait. We got DRENCHED. Hahakz. Then we ended the day with gossips and life catch-ups. Sweet. It was a great day to start the week.... To start the last week of the holidays. *Sob sob*

Tuesday

I was in an extremely lazy-mood. So much for my holiday plans of finishing my homework on time and doing loads of revision.. Haiz.. I didn't get anything done.. xD Met baby and we lepaked for awhile.. Then I went to the Library with Jujus and Yana in the afternoon. Hehekz. I love them la. So sweets. x) And Yana, we succeeded in murdering Jujus. Wakakas.

Wednesday

TODAY! Hehehe. I watched CARS!!!! Haha whee~~ I woke up in the morning due to Divya's call.. Then went to Causeway Point with her.. She got her charger and headset and I waited for baby at Boots & Shoes... So we watched Cars together... x)) The show was nice. Really made me think. It made me cry too. Haha. A cartoon made me cry. Lawl. Owen Wilson's voice is hot. The show is cute la. xD Right after the movie baby left. Yes. Just like that. Hmpfh. But met Ezzati after that. And whee~ We totally went crazy. We had loads of fun. Heh. We saw Farid and shits. Then I went to her house and blablabla. Haha. Mummy dear, I love you so. (:

I was feeling a little emoish just now.
Thank God Ezzati helped me shoo the feeling away.
Hehekz.

Wow.
Hehekz. Hadi's so sweet. He's like, the first to wish me an advanced birthday wish. Thank you brother! Heheh. (:
I don't want my birthday to come.
I'm so scared to get a year older.
I don't want anything bad to happen on my birthday.
Eeeek.
Kay never mind.
Tatas people!

OUH BY THE WAY!
Wahahahakz.

Yohannis and Jumalia darlings asked me to do this quiz..
Like, a million years ago...
Hehe.

7 random facts about me:

1.I usually cry myself to sleep.
2.I'm attached to Syamil.
3.I'm a student councillor.
4.I totally hate liars.
5.I'm never okay.
6.I love Strawberry Milk. xD
7.I cry easily. [Deal with it.]

7 things that scare me:

1.Darkness and sleeping alone in the darkness.
2.Being alone anywhere.
3.Losing friends.
4.Fights, arguments.. Unhappiness.
5.End of the world.
6.God.
7.Losing Syamil the way I lost him.

7 random music at the moment:

1.Swing Swing.
2.Buttons.
3.I'm Not Okay.
4.Here Without You.
5.We Belong Together.
6.Hips Don't Lie.
7.Naked.

7 things I say the most:

1.Lawl.
2.HEY! SOMEBODY GONNA GETTA HURT REAL BAD..
3.Confucious says, you go to jail. BAD BOY! [Lawl. *Now Jumalia will laugh her ass off*]
4.Huh?
5.Sheesh.
6.Haha.
7.Fuck.

7 people to do this:

1.You?
2.You?
3.You?
4.You?
5.You?
6.You?
7.You?

P.S. I leave it up to you if you want to do it or not. Heh.

Lalala~
I shall do some other stuff now then.
Wheee~
Toodles!

2006-06-18T11:05:00.000+08:00

I feel like breaking down and crying.
I'm SORRY to you, DD.
I just never expected you to say those kind of things.. And you know me. I'm like, fucking sensitive. I'd think unreasonable things. You know that. I'd never want to lose you as a best friend. Never.

Mum broke down yesterday.
I don't know if I should be posting this here, but I just want to blog about how I feel now... Kay?
To all those who hate me, yet still read this blog, please, please do not tag mean stuffs kay? I'm tired of entertaining all of you.
I'm tired of having to hate when I don't even know you.

So she came back from where he stays. Crying, with every part of her face red. She had broken down before, to a point where she wanted to commit suicide right infront of my eyes, but yesterday was a notch better. Yes, and we, as children, expect more from her. I remember saying to my sister, "She's like, a 46 year old, acting like a 6 year old."

I don't believe it happened...
I don't believe it's happening over and over again.
I love her so.
I love her so.

I do believe that one day, I will, be pushed to the brink of insanity.
Seriously.

Not the high, crazy, funny type of insanity.
The IMH type.

I've gone through ENOUGH.
And who should I shout all this out to?
Syamil?
My boyfriend, who stays at Johor?
My friends?
Who have enough troubles of their own?
Teachers?
Who have enough to think about?
Counsellors?
Who I don't trust?

As much as I love God for giving me life, a shelter, a family, even if it's not completed, friends and everything else I need... I'm just so fed up with myself.. Cause I'm aware that I'm not up to His expectations. I'm too weak. And He knows it... I'm just so, so weak..

Mum doesn't deserve this.
This awkward silence from him.
The love she gives him is commendable.
It's unfair.

Kakak doesn't deserve this.
So much anger, hurt and pain in her eyes.
Although she has such a beautiful soul.
Its unfair.

Abang doesn't deserve this.
He was once so innocent.
What he is now, is due to his shattered childhood and environment.
It's unfair.

And I?
I don't know what has become of me. I seriously don't know. I'm tired of trying. Tired of trying to make others understand. If me leaving makes any of you happy, I gladly will. Can somebody just try to understand? See me break down and cry. Finally see how much pain I've been through.

The monster is attacking again.
I feel the need to vomit.
Goodbye.

2006-06-17T16:52:00.000+08:00

Ouh trust me. I'm even more pissed off at you.

You should know who you are. Okay, you know what? I'm not trying to be the little backstabbing bitch here, so I'll just shoot.

Number 1: I was against the idea of you buying that phone. I tried talking you out of it, but you know what? I'm your friend. Your best friend. And I just wanted you to be happy.

Number 2: I made sure you weren't cheated of your money or anything and I made sure you knew how to operate that phone. I followed you, on a lie, although I was very sick. I told you to take care of yourself cause I don't want to see bruises on you anymore. I specifically asked you to control your messages with him cause I didn't want you to get caught again.

Number 3: I lied a white lie to God for you. You know why? It ain't cause I wanted money. It ain't cause I'm not religious. It ain't cause I'm a liar. [Gosh, you should know how much I hate liars and lying.] It's because I didn't want your mummy to hurt you. I was trying so hard to prevent this..

And now you say I betray you.
In what way, I may say.
I'm tired of trying to talk sense into you.
If getting your phone makes you happy, you'll get it.
No matter how busy I will be this week.
This last meeting shall be the last of our good friendship.
You had a choice.
You made it.

Ouh well.
Don't mind those words above.
They're for one person only.

HAHA.
I've been having a great time lately.
Despite the health problems, dance shit, people having lust problems..
I say a BIG THANK YOU to Jumalia, Ezzati and Diyana! x)
Diyana's been through a rough patch.
I hope she's okay.
Jumalia and I have been pretty much seeing each other a lot.
Hahaha.
I love her so.
Thanks for cheering me up cause of all the rough shit I've been going through yea.
And ouh!
Of course my darling Mardhiah. x)
Hope you're okay dear..
Ouh well...
Can't stop thinking about shits la.

So yesterday was crap.
Getting scolded cause of shit like that.
I'm pissed off.
Not by 1 or 2 people.
But by those who care about others more than me.
I mean, won't you naturally get hurt if you find out that you've been caring about a person who doesn't care about you as much?? Would you feel the same way about that person once they've said something unpleasant due to anger? Would you want to keep the bond that you two once had because of unhappiness that was caused in a moment of folly??

I tell you my answer.
I'm a human.
And an over-sensitive human at that.
Although I'd never want to see you get hurt.
Did you think about how hurt I'd get by your "comments"?
I believe in karma.

Fuck all these shits I'm facing and to them..
HIAK HIAK HIAKKKKK!!!
Good day people.
Tata.

2006-06-14T21:00:00.000+08:00

Have any of you heard the song Iris by Goo Goo Dolls?

It stones like rocks.
Haha.

No, seriously..
I'll blog the lyrics.
It has a lot of meaning...
To me, that is.

Aiyoyoh...
Don't know why I'm feeling so emotional now..
Was blog-hopping to relieve my boredom...
And read blogs that blogged about how their boyfriends/girlfriends are going for a holiday and how they'll miss them so..

I'm in the same boat, aren't I?
I mean, the only difference is that he stays in Johor..
And he can't even call me at night..
Nor chat with me on MSN..
Nor wish me sweet dreams via SMS..
And it has been 2 months..

So tell me.
Which is worst?
A hoilday which lasts less than 2 weeks..
Or a 'holiday' which has lasted for 2 months, and 10 months more to come?

They say, "You will never treasure the value of an object until you lose it." It's freaky how true this sentence is.. I wish I never had to 'lose' him.. Now everytime I see or hear things that remind me of him.. Tears form and try to fall.... Should I let them fall? And break the promise that I made to him? I miss him so much. And I need him here, beside me.. So fuckingly much.

How long will Russell Peters make me laugh?
How long til I stop faking every action?
How long til I realise that it's just no use?
How long will I try?

Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

*Instrumental Break*

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am...

P.S. Sorry if I offended anybody with this post. I was just feeling low and this blog entry refers to nobody in particular.
Good night.

2006-06-10T19:39:00.000+08:00

Hahaha.
I love you, Diyana Mohd!
<3333333

Okay, so I'm Bored. Lawl.
Heh.
I've been requested by her to do this.
So I shall.
Nyehahaha.

20 people you can think of right now. Don't read the questions until you have named the 20 people. At the end of it all, choose 5 people to do this.

1.Jumalia
2.Diyana
3.Ezzati
4.Afiq
5.Khairul
6.Divya
7.Syamil
8.Abu? Haha.
9.Priscilla
10.Mdm Chang
11.Mardhiah
12.Kok Hoe
13.Hidayah
14.Maisurah
15.Haiza
16.Ashraf
17.Hani
18.Afifah
19.Azyan
20.Usher... xD

How did I meet #14 [Maisurah]?
Err.. Sec 1, school? I've forgotten, really. But yea.

What would you do if you never met #1 [Jumalia]?
Ouhmagawd. I'd probably have to actually TELL other people about the PUNANEHS joke.. OUH OUH. And I'd die due to boredom every long holiday. Hahakz. <33333333

What would you do if #20 [Usher] and #9 [Priscilla] dated?
O.O I'd murder Usher. He's wayyy to dark for her. xD [But he's fucking hot though. xD]

Did you ever like #19 [Azyan]?
HAHA. Still liking her. xD

Would #6 [Divya] and #17 [Hani] make a good couple?
Nooooooooooooooo. LAWL. No, no. Divya's fine as Shafiq's hot girlfriend; and Hani's better off as being my dear. xD

Describe #3 [Ezzati].
HAHAHA. A hot girl who's stuck in the word love. An effingly great mother angkat and she's pretty smart too. Ouh by the way. I lurrrve her figure. xD <333333333

Do you think #8 [Abu] is attractive?
Ouhmagawd. Errr... He's okay la. Hot. But not HAWWWTTTT. xD

Tell me something about #7 [Syamil].
HAHAHA. He's my boyfriend and he sure knows me well. Haha. He's smart, but lazy. A good friend. Definitely a good boyfriend. He's in NPCC and he totally rawkz at marching. Lawl. [Okeh, wait. Did I say too much? xD]

Do you know any of #12's [Kok Hoe] family?
Good Heavens. No, I don't. Haha. Except his godsister. xD

What are #8's [Abu] favourites?
Haha. One word explains it all. Soccer. Haha. Wait. Maybe Nike too. xP

What would you do if #18 [Afifah] confesses that she likes you?
LAWL. She likes me. I'm certain. Haha. No la. She LURVES me. There's no need to confess anything anymore. Haha.

What language does #15 [Haiza] speak?
Haha. Malay and English? Ouh. She laughs a lot too. Haha.

Who is #9 [Priscilla] going out with?
Haha. Secret! Lawl. But he's from St Gabriel. xD

How old is #16 [Ashraf] now?
Err.. 16? I'm not sure if his birthday has passed. Lawl.

Who is #2's [Diyana] favourite band/singer?
Haha. Rahimah Rahim? Lawl. <333333333

Would you ever date #4 [Afiq]?
Haha! NEVER!! I'm those kind of people who wouldn't sacrifice a good friendship for love. xD

Would you date #7 [Syamil]?
Haha. I'm already dating him. x) Ooouh. I miss him.

Is #15 [Haiza] single?
Surprisingly, yea. She's a total hottie. Haha.

What's #10's [Mdm Chang] last name?
ERR... I know her name is Geraldine Chang. I'm not quite sure about her last name. xD

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with #11 [Mardhiah]?
GOSH. I already am having a secret affair with her! LAWL. Haha. Hell yea la... If she was a boy. xD

What school does #3 [Ezzati] go to?
Bukit Panjang Government High. [Curse that school. It was my first choice. Bloody hell. If only my aggregate was 243... Grr.. Haha. Joking la. xP]

Where does #6 [Divya] stay?
Ooouh! Blk ***. Haha. Divya's a hottie. I don't want people to start stalking her. Heh. HINT! It's near Evergreen Secondary. xP

What's your favourite thing about #5 [Khairul]?
How smart he is in Maths. How amazing his loyalty to his lover can get. How good he is as a friend and how he makes lame jokes but knows his limits. xD

Have you seen #1 [Jumalia] naked?
Hmmm.. I think I have.. Lol. No la. xD

The 5 people to do it:
1.Jumalia
2.Ezzati
3.Yohannis
4.Farhannis
5.Divya

And anybody else who's effingly bored. xD

Wheee~
Watched Benchwarmers with baby yesterday. Haha. A very funny movie. But a tad too lame. Which makes it somewhat boring. Bluek. Haha. But still a very nice movie la. I'd give it 3/5. x) A good catch if you're depressed and thinking about suicide and what happens when you finally reach Hell. Muahaha. Whether or not you'd get to see Lucifer and whether he'd be a darling handsome hot guy or the most hideous creature you've ever seen. Lawl. But still. It's a great show la. Somewhat heroic, too. Haha.

I want to watch CARS.
Somebody, accompany me?
Almost everybody say it's childish.
BUT HELL NO LA.
Animated 3D movies like Cars rawk my world la.
It's effing difficult to create a movie like that, kay?
AND AND AND!!
Owen Wilson is the voice for the hot red car!!
Haha.
Owen Wilson's funny!
xDD

Okay, so anybody wants to watch Cars???
Preferrably somebody who's loaded so you can blanje me. Keke.
I'm bankrupt at the moment la.

Gosh.
They're repeating Singapore Idol right now on Channel 5.
Spare me the agony, please?
Tsk tsk tsk.

Haha. KIDDING LA.
RAHIMAH RAHIM rawkz!
And there's nothing you can do about it!
Wheee~

I think this entry is long enough.
OUH BTW.
Followed DD to buy her Motorola V3 just now.
Ouh, she owes me ouh-so-much.
Haha.
AND I'M OFFICIALLY DECLARING THAT I'M ON A DIET.
Lawl.

Bulimic?
Wheets!

2006-06-08T21:31:00.000+08:00

Hahakz.
I've tagged quite a lot of people to update their blogs.
Muahahaa.
If you do update your blog, I'm grateful. x)

I'm so bored la.
The only three things I can rely on to escape death from boredom is to GO OUT or to read other people's blog or... to start doing my homework.

|:

I'm BORED la.
But anyways...
RAHIMAH RAHIM IS IN THE FINALS!!
Woooots!!
Of course I'm happy.
I screamed as though it was nobody's business.
Haha.

Okay, I've been a bad best friend.
Nyehahaha!!
KHAIRUL, HAPPY BELATED 17TH BIRTHDAY!!! Lawl. His birthday was on 6th June. Hahakz. Yea. The 666 thing really got the world excited huh? Lawl. Damn lucky la this fellow. Heheh. May we stay best friends for.. Eternity? Hahakz. x)

AND AND AND!!

HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY to my good best fwen AFIQQQ!!!!!!!!
Ahahakz.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank them for everything they have done for me, for all the times they understood how sensitive I am and how they comforted me. xD Thank you, you 2 goongoons. Ahahakz. May you have a nice year ahead, forget hurtful memories and move on. (:

OUH BY THE WAY.
Went out with my DD just now. Haha. Which stands for Darling Divya. Hahakz. After 2 weeks of missing her, I finally saw her! xD So we basically had a great time la. We were going crazy, eating breakfast at Burger King and whatnot.. OUH BY THE WAY! Thank you for the STRAWBERRY MILK Divya! Heheh. <333333

Okay I'm bored and hungry and a little bit pissed off now.
Don't ask me why I'm pissed off.
Probably it's due to the boredom.
Bluek.

Have a nice night!
Toodles~

2006-06-07T14:08:00.000+08:00

Lawl.
My mother is reading "Summer With Mary-Lou".
Lawl, hell yea.
The one that Syamil gave me.
Wakakaka..
But besides that, prepare for a very long entry and entertaining one. xD

Okay, so I'm guilty of not updating about such a great day yesterday.
I just realised that Mardhiah and I always seem to have something to talk about. Heheh. Hearts you babe.
And well, Hamzah too. Wakakaka.
I guess it's true that I'm a tak-tau-malu kinda girl.
NYEH!

Haha..
Okay, so on with what happened yesterday!!

Although I slept at about 3am after talking with Mardhiah on the phone, I woke up at 9.30am. Even without Ezzati Mummy's help. xP Thank you mummy dear, nevertheless. xD

Haha.

We arranged to meet up at 12pm at first. So we would have enough time to go to town and buy the tickets. But gosh. A family outing is soooo fucking hard to organise. Lawl. So in the end we watched it at CWP and met up at 1pm instead. Hahakz. Okay, that's a lie. We were supposed to meet up at 1pm. But since Jumalia and I were late, we met up at ABOUT 1pm. Nyehahah.

The bus trip to CWP was damn funneh la. Hahakz. The bus Ju and I took was soo slow. And now again, I blog one of the very funny incidents that happen between me and Ju.

Sha and Ju were making lame jokes about how crazy Farhanah is and how they missed her. They were laughing their asses off when...
*Sha realises that the bus is travelling really slow*
Sha: Sheesh. Why is this bus so fucking slow??!
Ju: I don't know. *Shrugs*
Suddenly the bus speeds up.
Sha: Ohmagawd. The bus driver actually heard me?!
*Ju laughs her ass off*
Sha: Eh.. Kay la kay la. Drive slowly if you want kay?
The bus reverts to its previous slowww speed.
*Sha and Ju laugh their asses off all the way to CWP*

Hohoho!
I didn't know I was that loud. xD
So when we reached CWP, we went to buy the tickets immediately and guess who we saw?!?
Muahaha....

Just as I wanted to tell Ju about their plan to watch The Omen, we saw MY DEAR MARDHIAH AND ARMEEZA outside Timezone!!
Gosh I missed them so.
Hahahkz. Then they introduced Atikah to me!
Lawl. She very the pretty. x)
Wheeets!! Wakakakaka..
Then we went to Macs and sat down without ordering anything.
Huahuahua!!
Then Dee arrived and we seperated.. Sad.. Sad..

BUT THIS WAS WHEN WE WENT CRAZEEEEEEEEE.
Ahahahakz.

We went to 7-11 and bought a SUPER BIG GULP and went to the 6th floor to make a fool out of ourselves. We just had to choose to camwhore there. xD FUN!!! Hahakz. It was cool arh. But then we decided to blah from there to wait for the movie to start and buy popcorn. There was this MINAH group there sehs. Bluek. Ezzati tak bersalah pun kene marah sehs... Tsk3..

BUT ANYWAY..
We're good citizens and we didn't want them to spoil our day. So we didn't give a hoot about them. x)

OHMAGAWD.
The Omen is scary la.
I mean, not scary arh. But it's a very good thriller movie. I mean, come on. It made me shout like my mother for once. I was literally shouting for the woman to get out of the way in the exact tone as my mother would during the movie. Hahah. Like mother, like daughter? I think not.

I'd give it 3/5 if I were a movie critic. It didn't really meet my expectations for it. I thought it would be one of those movies which gives us everything we need to know about the characters and just leave us to watch how the story unfolds. But this movie was rather.. Err... Boring. xD A lot of places were involved la. And people, remind me when I grow up to be a very successful woman, to never go to Rome for a holiday? I think I'm officially spooked by that place. xD

Hahaha.
I have nothing against it.
I'm just scared that Damien might be behind me while I'm visiting that place. Okay Sharifah, stop your stupid imagination. |:

So everything else after that movie was great la.
We ate at Macs and and and!
Ju and I ate cheesecake and Fondant Chocolate. And OUH! Trust me... Both tasted heavenly. xD

Then we went to Tree Thirsty Park and camwhored SOMEMORE! Haha.
Then the saddest thing happened.
We had to go home. ):
VERY SAD LA OKAY?

So Dee, Ju and I walked back home while mummy went home alone. Sad la. Hearts her loads. Needless to say, the 3 of us were feeling very high on the way back home. Ju and I acted like some opera singers and sang Unfaithful at the top of our lungs as though our voices sound nice. Haha. Cool la. I'm missing those asses already. =X

Haha.
So today has been boring.
Went to the Supermarket..
Wished Syamil a Happy 11th Month Anniversary..
And CHANGED MY BLOGSKIN!!!
Lawl. Did ya notice? xP

Okay now I'm tired of blogging.
Wahaha.
I wonder how many people has actually read this whole entry without skipping any word. xDD TAG ME IF YOU DID!! Haha. Sharifah.. Sharifah.. When are you going to ever grow up?

xD
Never.
xD
NEVER!!
xD
Toodles!

2006-06-05T13:00:00.000+08:00

About Me

[x] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan/turn black easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life

[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[x] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work

[x] I'm in school.
[ ] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 subject last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job.
[ ] I've been fired.
[x] I've skipped school.

Embarrassment

[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something
[ ] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public GIANT HOLE!

Health

[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ ] I've gotten stitches.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.
[ ] I've smoked before.
[ ] I am addicted to smoking.
[ ] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[x] Ive been anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying.
[x] I've cried myself to sleep.
[x] I see/have seen a therapist/counselor before.

Traveling

[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[ ] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Australia.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences

[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've been an abuse victim.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from the internet.
[ ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.
[ ] I've been bungee jumping.

Relationships

[ ] I'm single.
[x] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[x] I've had someone cheat on me.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[ ] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of commitment.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality

[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] I love to flirt.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[ ] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime

[ ] I am a terrible liar.
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my/someone's house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[ ] I've shoplifted

Death and Suicide

[x] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[x] I've attempted suicide.
[x] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Political/Social Attitudes

[ ] In general, I don't like people.
[x] I'm a feminist.
[x] I'm outgoing.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[x] I'm Democratic.
[ ] I'm Republican.
[x] I'm liberal.
[x] I'm independant.
[ ] I am for Bush.
[ ] I'm religious.
[x] I dress fairly modestly.
[ ] My attitude is "If you've got it, flaunt it."

Random

[x] I can sing well. [xDD]
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ ] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have/had "x"s in my screen name
[x] I love being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ ] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS now/last time.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I believe in aliens.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ ] I play video games.
[ ] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] My answers are totally honest . [Wheee~]

Haha. Grabbed this quiz from Dee's blog. Found it interesting. xD Yep, it does fill up time. It made me laugh too. Heh. Cool.

Have a nice day.

2006-06-04T12:51:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling emotional again.
But nevertheless..

I'M BACK!
Sharifah Raihanah is back so you can read what I blog and laugh your asses off. xD

I was listening to Friends Forever just now.
Then I started to really think.
What was my purpose of starting this blog?
To remind myself of how fragile life is..
To make me look back at how the day went..
To ensure I don't repeat mistakes..

And yet it was the object that supposedly started a fight.
Now that got me thinking real hard.

F.Y.I.
I didn't change the URL of this blog because I'm a coward to what you low-lyers have to say about me. It's because I'm a coward of what would happen to me when I die. God Is Great. I don't want to hurt others and get the sin for it. It doesn't bring me any joy or glory anyway. AND I don't want YOU to get any dosa either. I ADMIT that I'm sensitive. Anything small you say to me can hurt me emotionally, greatly. No really, you claim to be religious and all.. But seriously, have you forgotten the meaning of life?

I'm not trying to say that I'm an ustazah or whatever not.
But.. If you're not getting even the basics of life right, what for go around saying this and that? Like you've said to me before, AS A FRIEND, if those people think they are so smart and perfect, they should look at themselves before criticising others. Now my dear friend, I ask YOU the same question.

When you were being bombarded with hate taggers, I wasn't the contradicting bitch who tagged even more hurtful stuff. Ahh heck. I doubt whatever I blog now will even get into your head anyway.

TRUST and RESPECT are earned.
Jangan harapkan umur kau jerh untuk dapat ni dua2 dari aku.
Aku tak sebodoh engkau.

I rest my case.

If you want to carry on tagging hate tags at my tagboard, I'm not the one losing out. It's no point really. It's KARMA my dear. You'll get back what you've done to others. I'm pretty sure you're aware.

2006-05-29T18:57:00.000+08:00

Fuck this feeling.
Somebody, rape it.

I love him.
I still do.
Of course I still do.
I always will.

But why did he say those mean things just now?!
I hate people shouting at me.
What gives him the right to shout at me like that??!
IN SCHOOL?!

The fuck..

ARGH.
Fuck everybody la now.
I so stressed already lor...
I don't want to think about him anymore.
Blueargh.
I don't want to think about them.

T_T

I want to cut myself la.
Now I can't even blog how I feel.
What the fuck sial..
Fuck those taggers la.
Fuck those people la.
Fuck those gossipers la.
UGHHH.

I soo hate them.
Hmpfh.

I've suddenly lost the mood to blog.
Asyiq, please answer the fucking phone?
ARGH.

2006-05-24T20:42:00.000+08:00

EEEEEEEEEEEK.

I swear I can kill myself for being such a blur bitch!!
Wahahahaa.
I'll explain when the issue's over.
xDDD
I LOVEEEE my ringtone!!
Yayness.

Hehehe.
Kay today was sad la.
I lost my file. =X
Feckitte la...
Okay now bye ta!

2006-05-22T05:15:00.000+08:00

Tsk3.
Some pathetic people..
Haiz..
Whoever started the fight anyway?!
Was my blog entry referred to Mahdi?
For God's sake, I didn't even read his blog.

SHEESH.

Some people la eh...
They're only "mature people" in name.
But in reality?
HAH. We are soo much better than them.
And hey losers, leave my friends alone kay?
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERS.

Hrmpfh.

And gosh!! Do these people have any IQ or not?! Didn't they realise that I was being sarcastic about the Ling tag? Hahakz. Moronic motherfuckers. xDD

OUH OUH OUH!!
And to those who ACT like my close friends, but do otherwise, I GOT MY PRETTY EYES ON YOUR UGLY FACE. Get that? Muahaha. I'm trying to be nice here. xDD Ouh by the way, I didn't break up with Syamil. Happy? Sad? I don't give a freaking damn. You can go to hell cause you're not worth my time. Okay, pathetic hate tagging losers? xDD I got your IP address, so if you ever tag, acting like my friend, you be sure of the fact that I'll ignore you and give you double-time the trouble. !@#$%^&*

=))

I'm bloody damn pissed off at some people.
But thanks at others, like,
HADI! *MUAAX*
MEEZA!! *MUAAX*
AND ESPECIALLY DIYANA!!!!! xD

We know what we have done yesh, laughing our asses off over that CowHead. xDDD MILK! Wahahaha. That milk surely not halal one lor. xDD Lalala~ Good times, good times. I love you Dee! Heheh. Okay, so this blog is for my sayang's eyes to read. Only his. If he ever does, that is.

Hmmm.. I just realised that our bloggie is dead. |:
Lawl.
Shoot me.

Eeeeek.
Tell me why I hate some seniors now?
Hrmpfh.
It's an absolute no-no that I sit in the canteen now.
I want to explain that to sayang la.
Hope he understands... Haiz..

I HATE THOSE BITCHES LA.
Somebody, pull their super mini short school skirts and slap their faces, please? Gosh. I need Fuchunians man. Around me. xD I realised that Fuchunians are professionals at criticising. No, really. xDDD

KAK JU!
DIK DEE!
MUMMY ZATI!!

Heheh.
Like as if they're going to read this like that...

Eh kay la. I think I'd better siap for school.
YAY. No homework!
AND HOLS ARE LIKE, 1 WEEK AWAY.
Long live my life!
LONG LIVE MY LIFE!!
Toodles!

2006-05-19T00:39:00.000+08:00

xDD

Look at the taggie people!
Some people are just so, so, immatured.
Leave your name the next time you tag kay.
So I can personally talk to you. x)
No violence involved.
Just talk.

Lawl.

It made me snort sehs.
So pathetic la.
Wakakaka.
Even if I tag hate tags, I'd tag with my name.
Hahaha.
Ouh well.
I guess that's something to keep me awake.
I'm grateful to the person who tagged that.
Really woke me up.
Heheheh!!

I LOVE YOU!!
Errr.. Whoever you are.

xDD
Ouh wells.
I'm re-writing my Portfolio.
Yes.
Everything in it.
I don't know what's gotten into me.
I seem to have the studying-mood thingy.
....

Kay never mind.

Okay toodles people.
I still haven't re-wrote Chapter 6, 7 and sets! xD
Ouh and by the way!
I'm changing my URL soon yesh?
Those who are SICK of reading my blog, please, please, please.
Don't bother finding out my new URL.
You want to tag hate tags, sure.
But use your real name.
That is, if you dare la. Ehk?
x))

Taaa~

2006-05-17T21:17:00.000+08:00

Disappointment.

I've just realised that I'm so disappointed with myself.

I've realised that I've been a bitch lately.
Snapping at people easily cause of my PMS.
I've realised that I haven't been studying/eating/sleeping well.
Cause I was too irrational and didn't forgive and forget the moment I heard about the rumour, and I discovered I was still emotional from all the crying and headaches caused by it.
I've realised that I haven't got as many true friends as I did in the past; which probably means that I haven't been a good one to them.
I've realised that they are many things I'm not aware of.
Things would probably make me stronger, although the process of knowing hurts.
I've realised that I'm stupid.
Stupid enough to have ever grown up this way.

Yes, yes.
Blame it on my family background.
Tralalala.

If I knew black magic like Shirin does, I swear I would have switched bodies with a happy person with a happy life.
Ahh heck.
Sorry.
I know, I know.
Nobody can forever be happy..
Fuck that fact.
UGHHHH.
Don't mind me.
I'm just a little emotional.
=X

I switched off my handphone.
I'm sick of daddy calling me and whining.
Asking me to follow him to Indonesia during the holidays like that.

Truthfully, part of me does want to go, badly.
But it isn't enough to win the part of me that doesn't want to go.
Why?

I want to go, because for God's sake, I have never been on neither an aeroplane nor a ship before! How stupid can that get? And to think my step brother is practically familiar with some foreign countries' airports. Bluek. And he's ALWAYS getting all the good stuff! His daddy is MY daddy too, okay?! I'm DEPRIVED god dammit. I'm jealous kay. I admit it.

But.. I don't want to go because it's during the June holidays for God's sake! Which probably means that it'll be packed with homework. And fun... With friends. [If I do have any.] That's the problem with being in a single-parent family. Your holidays get taken away from you. =( AND... I'm pretty sure that there will be Modern Dance training.. Which would be focussed on SYF 2007!! AND... My dad's demanding that I go with him for 2 weeks! 2 long weeks! 2 weeks out of a month! That's like, HALF MY HOLIDAY! And it's in the MIDDLE of the holiday! When all the action is! Geez...

AND AND AND!
A part of me is reluctant cause.. Let's face it. I'll be going with my dad's relatives and all. And hello?? Wake up call? I don't even remember most of their names nor faces. It might take about 5 minutes before I do if I meet them on the street. The only people I am even COMFORTABLE with being with is Taufiq, Kak Narimah and my dad himself. And I'm not sure that I want to learn new relatives names when I'm barely coping with the current list that I have stored in my head.

AND AND AND AND AND AND!!!
NJRC dance practice will be in this moment too! And my Teacher's Day dance that I've planned out ouh-so-well!! T_T Like shitte la!! Hrmpfh..

So tell me people, what should I do?

And ouh yesh.
I'm most disappointed because I promised to be a good daughter. Yet I haven't.
Okay Sharifah, shut up. Shut your fucking piehole. Now.

Wooooopsie.
The idea of running away from home is repeating itself in my head.
Somebody, run away with me?
I'm scared of being lonely.
*Blink blink*

2006-05-16T23:07:00.000+08:00

*Sighs*

I've had enough of this childish crap.
I'm stopping after this entry.
It's up to you if you want to end this or not.

Migraine acting up.
My eyes are red enough.
Maybe they do feel the pleasure of making others cry.
I respect their decision.

I visited Mahdi's blog just now.
All I wanted to say was sorry for the misunderstanding.
And woopsie.
I see a whole lot of stuff about me.
I'm quite honoured, really.
I think you should be, too.
Even though my blog entry posted on Monday, 15 May 2006, may seem that it was out to you, it wasn't.
So Mahdi darling, don't go all honoured and retort.

And the rumour thing?
Get this.
I didn't instigate Syamil to resort to violence.
In fact, he hasn't has he?
So don't pull him into this, okay Mahdi and Ling?
And ouh by the way, in what way have I abused my authority as a trainee councillor in this misunderstanding? May I know?
I just didn't want any of you to think that it's my fault.
He was just pissed at the rumour-starter.
Not any of you.
If you weren't guilty, that is.
It just so happens that there was the idea that I was the one who reported it to Ms Nora. Is it wrong to ask what pleasure that person has in doing that in my blog?? Why did you, my dear Mahdi, think I was referring that entry to you? Afterall, there were no specifications that I was referring to your blog. Was there? o.O And trust me, it wasn't referring to your blog. Unless you want to compete with the person who I'm referring to.

Ouh fuck.
Migraine is fucking agony now.
11.14pm.
I've cried my lungs out.
I think it's time I pop a sleeping tablet into my mouth.

Don't contradict, if you want to point out that others are contradicting.
And yes, I do swear. It's just that I try to make a point not to swear too often because of my status as Trainee Councillor. Alright?

You'll get peace if you want to.
And to the others, it's not healthy being narrow-minded, yes?
No, seriously.
Please don't blame me for everything that's happening to Mahdi and Ling now. Okay?
That would be giving me too much credit.

I think I'll put up a tagboard again.
There will be negative tags.
Yes, of course.
I'll cry, definitely.
But at least I'll realise that they are a whole lot of different characters in this world. Ahahahkz. Blogs are so, soo controversial.

2006-05-16T20:25:00.000+08:00

Hilarious.

Today was ****ing hilarious. Was laughing the whole day. Lucky day, I guess? xDD Assembly was okay.. I'm beginning to fall in love with that Kids For Character song. Heheh. Science was pleasant. I surprisingly passed my Science! x) So Priscilla darling passed too and we were god damned happy about it.. Divya flunked it and Barney dropped though. Never mind, our group rocks. We CAN succeed. [Ouh by the way, Ming Yang had the highest mark of 37/50. *Shock and horror*]

Recess, nothing much happened.. Talked to Haiza about her.. Bluek. She's a plain loser la eh... Mother Tongue... Nabil bought the wrong colour highlighter for me.. BUT he did add 30 cents of his money into it, so I'm very glad. Hehe. x) Ouh ya! SOMETHING SCARY HAPPENED. Ahahakz. Yohannis and I were trying to solve this Malay quiz paper thingy and I was asking her what a word meant when *BOOM*. The conversation went like this:

Me: Eh, ape makne terkesima? [Hey, what's the meaning of terkesima?]
Yohannis: Ntah. Agaknye itu name nenek die tak. [I don't know. It may be the name of its grandmother.]
*BOOM* [A very, very loud thunder.]

Ahahakz. Scary, isn't it? It's as if God was angry at Yohannis or something. Eheheh. Kidding, kidding. English was alright I guess. Nothing much happened. Divya, Pris and me were talking for most of English. Fun la. Heheh. Hearts them! **Barney was looking blur the whole day**

Maths.. Bla bla bla... There's a file check tomorrow.. And yep, I'm not going for it. [I'll explain later.] SO ANYWAY... HOME ECONS WAS A BLAST. Heheh. And I really mean it. Eheheh. I love Ms Yuana!! <333333 Priscilla and I were the most KIASU of all the people in Home Econs sehs!! We were practically running out of the classroom to dash to the Kitchen. Ahahakz. It was cute la. Our faces were red from laughing after realisng that we had made a fool of ourselves and I really, really felt like pee-ing. And you know what Priscilla said after I told her?

Me: Eh Pris, I really feel like niao-niao[ing] leh. Pei me go leh.
Priscilla: You go and die la you. I don't care. You hold it until after Home Econs.
*Awkward silence*
*Both me and Priscilla burst into even more laughter*

Lame, isn't it? Ahahaha. It was funny la. Especially cause we were practically laughing the whole way to the Kitchen. YUM YUM. x)) The practical was successful. Although it started out a little bit rocky, it did end up okay afterall. I got a gastric attack again while washing the dishes. That explains why I was so quiet, Priscilla dear. The pain came again so suddenly. I just held it in. I was hoping it would be for a short while only. It was. And eheheh! I thought I failed my Home Ec? Ahakz. I passed. xD

After Practical, went to North Plaza with Hazira, Jeannie, Hazirah, Jannah, KY, James and Farhanah. Hazira and I bought a big pack of Fruit Loops cause there wasn't the small pack and Hazira was craving for it. Me, being kind, added some money to get the cereal. Heh. What happened was funny la. I love Hazira. Heheh. Ouh ya, bought Gummies from 7-11 with Hazirah too.

Ouh well. It all ended with sayang sending me home. x)) I love him.
And I have the feeling that it's going to be forever.
*Big grin*

OOOUH BY THE WAY!!

Marks re-cap, yesh?

Maths --> 18/40 [D7] Feckitte I say.
English --> 17/25 for the Comprehension and 24/30 for the SAIL Test. [B3/A2] I'm quite satisfied, I guess. *Shrugs*
Mother Tongue --> 26/50 [C6] No comments.
Literature --> 15/30 [C6] Curse that *ahem* la!
Science --> 33.5/50 [B3] Quite impressive, eh? Considering the fact I got a C6 last term.
Geography --> 30/40 [A2] I miss Mr Lee so much. ):
Home Economics --> 72/100 [A2] Seriously, no comments. x)

The only result I haven't got is History. And since I'm not attending school tomorrow, all I can do is wait for Priscilla's news. Whether they're good or bad. |: Curse my gastric la. Okay, I think I'll go rest now, yesh?

I'm going to miss school. |:

2006-05-15T19:35:00.000+08:00

Blogs.

As much as they're supposed to be an online journal where you can blog your thoughts, some just HAVE to mistake it for a way to bully others. Yes. BULLY. Ugh. It's quite disgusting and sick, really. And no, this is not to anybody out there in particular. Well, maybe to those who think that I reported some blog to a teacher. But nah, you're wrong about it. So shut your ****ing pie hole. Nyeh blek.

Don't blame me if you get into trouble with my sayang because of it. It's not really my fault afterall. I DETEST people who start rumours with no back-up nor proof. Now, that's just ****ing sick, don't you think? And I'm very, very sorry if you are sadistic and spastic. I assume you were born like that, yes?

Ughh.

I don't want to waste my time blogging about it, really. A sad story. Very sad. And to those who are wondering who it is, stop wondering. It's a waste of thought. It's not even WORTH thinking about. Cause it's all plain shitte. (:

OUH!
How I love today!
[Besides the fact knowing that some sad ass doesn't even know that Shareefah is my NICKNAME which my adoptive mummy gave me. xDD]

Well, that person can bloody well **** off. =)

Ouh IT WILL get ITS just deserves anyways.
Yes. IT. Hahah. Its name isn't worth being written in my darling blog. x)
Lalalala~

OUH ANYWAY.
Today was great!
I passed every subject that we got back today. Heheh. Even if it was a borderline pass. I feel an intense feeling of satisfaction from studying and paying attention in class! Ahahakz. English, Literature, Geography. I hearts all of them. Eheheh. Except maybe Literature. And omigosh. Maisurah flunked it?! D: Blame it on the *ahem* la. xD Ouh well. I love my sayang la...

He was being so sweet the whole day just now.
<333333333 and more <3333333333!! =)
Shared some cool facts with Hidayah and Divya just now.
Eheheh. Hearts! xD
Ouh great la. So much homework was given today. Ughhh.
Hello people? I'm barely doing my portfolio?? NYE BLEK la...

Ate with mummy and sayang after school just now. Eheheh. I was on the verge of crying, because of that stupid lame ass who CARIK GADUH [me being very sensitive..] and sayang and I left school cause I didn't want to WASTE MY TEARS for some rude punk ass. xD Eheheh. PUNK ASS. [Take The Lead] Psst.. It's an inside joke. So anyway, we left and then baby left his bag at my house and off to meet mummy! xDD

Fun la eating with them.
Sayang was sooo adorable and spontaneous.
Mummy darling too! <33333
Heheheh.
So we returned back home..
And I slept on sayang's lap for a while..
Played with Monmon and Tiki..
Sang with mummy...
Practised some guitar skills...
And finally, ended everything off with a special touch from my DarlingBabySayang. xDD <333333333 Did I mention how much I love him?? x) Well, I do. A lot, a lot, a lot! Eheheh.

Now it's 8pm and my anger has cooled down a little bit.
Off to do my many homework that's piling up as though it's Mount Everest.
Hrmpfh.

Ouh well.
I still do want to pass my Maths..
Right?

HAHA. TAAAA~~~

2006-05-14T20:03:00.000+08:00

I BOUGHT A DWARF HAMSTER!!

Unexpectedly.
I'm really shocked by how fickle minded and easy going I am. *Blink blink* My brother bought a dwarf hamster yesterday. I found it cute and POOF. We were on the way to the Pet Shop to buy one for me. [Using my savings. xP] Eheheh. I wanted the white one sooo badly. But they were all MALES! Ughhh. I wanted a female desperately so I got this cute little one... Practically a baby..

Eheheh.

It's so adorable.

Eh woopsie!
I gots Practical tomorrow!
Ahahah.
I haven't got my stuffies ready!
Eheheh.
Tata people!

2006-05-13T16:05:00.000+08:00

Today was great.
OUH OUH OUH.

I'm so ****ing proud of myself! Hahah. Took 969 from Woodlands Interchange all the way to Tampines by [get this] MYSELF. Heheh. I know it's no biggy deal, but hey, it's the first time I was alone on a bus for so long. Heheh. 45 minutes to be exact. Hahah.

Lid and Akasyah were late when I reached Tampines. Blueargh. There was a funny sight once I reached there. The bus drivers were struggling to unlock their Passenger Service door. Hahah. It was a funny sight. The number code thingy was spoilt, and they were making such a fuss about it. Everybody was too busy walking pass to notice it. Except me and some others of course. There were a few boys who were watching too.

They made it pretty obvious that they were looking at me, too. But thank God daddy reached soon after.

We went to renew my handphone plan.
And I am very happy to say that I have 1100 SMSes each month to play with. Heheh. Yayness. Ouh well. So daddy got that Motorola ROKR afterall. To think I was so crazy over it once-upon-a-time. Heheh. I don't believe it has a freaking memory card slot!! Bluek. Heheh.

It's okay.
It's alright.
Cause I'm very much in love with my phone.

<3333333

Ouh ya!
I took the taxi back home alone too yesterday night. How brave was that? Hahah. I was talking to Walid and Mummy throughout most of the journey though. Heheh. Bought food for Kakak and Mummy before going home. (:

Today was great.
I watched Voice with sayang at our usual cinema. xD Fun. It's beneficial having a 16-year-old for a boyfriend. xD So we ate breakfast then looked at handphones... Then after everything, we ate Hello Panda and sat near my block... Going crazy again. Heheh. Fun.

Ouh kay. So now I shall go do other stuff la eh. Haha. Yay!
Tata people!

2006-05-12T09:32:00.000+08:00

The past few days have been pretty fucked up.
And I mean it.

Blueargh.
Don't ask me why I don't have a tagboard.
I figure I don't want to be a social blogger.
I'll just blog what and how I feel.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
Nyeh blek.

Muahahaha.
Okay, so maybe only yesterday and Wednesday was great.
Wednesday's after-school party I mean.
Sports Carnival was okay I guess.

Curse that MC.
I couldn't participate because of the ****ing MC.
And it's like, due 5 days later.
That's just sickening, right? Ugh.

So I did feel a little out of tune after Sports Carnival. Thanks to Jeanette for calming me down. Hearts. Some other girls pissed me off, but I did have a reason for not supporting our class okay? It's not as if I wanted to disappear. It's not as if any of you would care whether I would die there or anything.. And besides, I was feeling unwell. And nope, it would be impossible for YOU to feel it unless you were me. So just shut the ****ing hell up. Bitch.

Ouh. Lalala~

The ****ing pop-ups in this computer is annoying. Eff the virus which just had to enter this computer. Ughhh!! Ouh at least 16 May is coming soon... Right? And ultimate yayness!! I'm finally able to do all 3 splits! Yay! I just have to train them loads. x)

SYF 2007, HERE I COME!

YAY!

Ughh la. I feel so.. Lost.
All the best friends I ~~have~~had?
They're all gone.

I miss sayang so. Yesterday I was practically with him the whole day. Greatt. We'll keep what happened a hush-hush kay baby? Eheheh. We fought on the way back home but I guess he learned something from it. Yes. HE. Not me. x)) Ouh he's just so adorable. And sweet and cute and funny. Ahahah. And he's mine. Forever. FOREVER. Blueargh.

7-11 18
x)) Love Love Love!!

7th July 2005 - Our Original Anniversary.
18th March 2006 - White Month Anniversary.
11th May 2006 - BLACK Month Anniversary.

Yayness!
Ahahahah. Yes, I know it's lame. We have THREE anniversaries! Ahahah. But all these dates are very, very memorable. Very memorable indeed.. x)) I love my sayang.

Okay good.
I'm going over to Tampines later to renew my handphone line.
YAY-NESS.
Hahakz.
Okay bye!

*Shareefah was mad at the time she posted this post*
--> Wait. She's ALWAYS mad. Nyehahaha!!

2006-05-07T23:48:00.000+08:00

I finally got my E730!!

Heheh.
That's the highlight, really.
Nothing much happened today.
Slacking, revising and crying.
The usual combination.

I'm glad I cleared the Ginelle thingy already.
<3333 her.
And I changed the blogskin, too.
Cause that tagger tagged.
Eheheh. Thanks ya.
Lalalala~

I love my new phone.
But I hate what I had to do to get it.
Ouh fuck.
I'm way past my bedtime.
I'll go sleep now.
Shall update more if I have the time.
Taaa~

2006-05-05T05:21:00.000+08:00

Is there something wrong with Blogger? Or this computer?

Hmm...

Days have been rocking.
Life has been passing.
We have been loving. xD

Lalala~

Some feelings are hard to hide. In fact, they can't even be hid! So why force me to admit that I don't love him when I've decided that he is my future husband? My one and only... xD Lol lol lol. We quarrelled again yesterday afternoon. I am so in love with him la. Why is he sooo sooo sweet? Ahahah. Thank you, my DarlingBabySayang. Eheheh. DBS bank. Lol. Wahahaha. I'm so high la.

I think I passed my Maths.
Wait. I HOPE I passed my Maths.

Muahaha.

You may look at me and think that I'm
Just a young girl
But I'm not just a young girl
Baby this is what I'm lookin' for
A sexy, independent guy, down to spend it type that's gettin' his dough
I'm not bein too dramatic that's the way I gotta have it

Ahahah.
I love that song.
Woolala.
I'd better go continue studying History.
Gots that SBQ thingy to memorise.
Ouh yesh I'm aiming for an A2.
xD Yayness! Muahaha. Tata people!
<33333333333333

2006-05-01T02:10:00.000+08:00

Happy Labour Day everybody. I'm bored, and I've lost interest on learning how to edit songs at the moment. Anyway, I promised to do a book review on Summer With Mary-Lou. And so I shall.

Let me start with the how I got to know the book. (:

It started with a library trip with sayang, and whilst he was busy doing homework, I walked around looking for a good book to read. I finally grabbed one that looked appealing to me. A blue cover.. With its text "Summer With Mary-Lou" in orange + yellow colour at the side. I sat down beside sayang, staring at the closed book after reading its Sypnosis. I didn't really understand what the Book Sypnosis meant, and thus, the reason for my action. Then sayang decided to take a rest from his homework, and I flipped through the book instinctively, snapping out of my daze, to hide my boredom and act as though I've been reading the book.

I landed on Page 33; Sayang's Index Number. I may sound stupid, but I'm very superstitious. I can link any number to practically anything. And that's the reason for my great love for the number 4 and 7. [I was born on the 4th of July.. ] Although maybe sometimes this habit of mine gets extremely ridiculous.. It does get a little tad TOO uncanny and linked.. [Well, practically any kind of link is possible, with the amount of creativity and imagination I have stored up in my head. x)]

BUT ANYWAY.

On Page 33 of this book, sayang and I found a sentence that was very much related to us.. Of course to know this sentence you'd have to go read the book.. xP We were so intrigued by the sentence that sayang borrowed the book, probably hoping to make me smile after the long boring trip to the library. It did make me smile. I brought it home after he finished reading it and gradually finished reading the book.

It made me cry.
The book made me cry.

The vocabulary used is wonderful. The expressions, clear and meaningful. The words and language.. Spectacular. The book was worth reading, and worth taking up my time. It made me miss the season finale of my favourite show, and yet I wasn't angry at all. I was so absorbed in reading the book that I didn't even finish my homework!

Yesh, that's how good it is to me.

Although it may seem like another old boring storybook to any other person... It has made a significant difference on 2 persons' lives on Earth. Syamil's and mine. We can even relate the story to us. Me being Mary-Lou and Syamil being Adam. It's almost scary, how similar and coincidental it is..

Heh, well.. The story is about a girl, Mary-Lou, who gets disabled after trying to kill herself. Her close friend/boyfriend, Adam, wants to help her get out of the dilemma and confusion she faces in her heart and mind and this story shows the determination and will that Adam has to save Mary-Lou. Mary-Lou even teaches Adam some basic stuff, and even though they quarel and argue most of the time, they always resolve everything. Even if it takes a long time..

It's a very, very sweet book.
Try borrow it from the Woodlands Regional Library?

Summer With Mary-Lou by Stefan Casta.
Enjoy.

2006-04-29T10:11:00.000+08:00

I feel like crying.
Not breaking down.
Just crying.

Everything's just so wrong right now.
I'm always either alone, with my baby or with my guy friends where ever I go. And some people just HAVE to think that I'm cheating on my baby. Like, no way. Never. We're going to make it to the pelamin and every single one of you who say otherwise will have to pay me a thousand dollars each, then. Hmpfh. I've been pondering too, like mummy. Haiz.. Am I a bad friend? To have caused so much misunderstandings... To have hated some people... To have cursed them in my heart... Is it just normal or is it just me?

*Shrugs*
Nobody's perfect anyway..
Right?

Ouh fuck. I don't want to cry now.
I'm going out with baby later to celebrate his birthday.. But.. I so can't help it. Ugh fuck. Stop it Sharifah. Don't be such a cry baby. Hmm.. Hahah. Cry baby. Reminds me of somebody. Ouh how I MISS Primary School... Or rather, I miss everybody there.. Insyirah especially!! I LOVE YOU INSYIRAH!! Hahah. And of course, BFC! And WG! Heheh. And all the cheerleaders! Even if the juniors were.. Err.. Never mind. And and and!! The BOYS there!! All those time spent staying back and teasing them about their soccer skills! And the GGG!! Heheh. Ouh gosh.. And I wonder when Fuchun is going to be demolished... Haiz... I hope it never gets demolished.. That building means sooo much to me.

I miss being care-free.
I never thought that friends would make me feel this way.
Or actually, even could.

I feel so lost la.
Somebody, ENLIGHTEN me.

Ouh ya. I failed my Maths test. Again. Great, isn't it? Haiz..

Anyways... HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR SOUL SISTER NURUL INSYIRAH!!

And also to my Darling Baby Sayang!!
My one and only forever and ever and ever!!
***Warning, the next paragraph or so is going to be mushy so please do not complain if you read it, ya. Cause I warned you already. x)

Muhammad Syamil Bin Bueari... My darling husband... My darlingbabysayang who is always there for me... I love you forever and ever and ever.. And I promise you that I'll always be there for you.. In good times or bad... You'll always have me near.. We're always communicating via telepathy anyways.. So if you just need me real badly, just give me an alert kays? I'll go right to your doorstep and cheer you up. Heheh. Eh wait, that's your job. xD I love you sayang.. I love you so much and I'll never ever let you go... You will never lose me cause I'll never let go of what we have... Thank you so for comforting me with all the issues I'm having now.. Family.. Friends.. School.. Teachers.. I thank you so.. Cause you, my husband, my darlingbabysayang, Muhammad Syamil Bin Bueari, is the only person who stays with me through good times or bad... I love you, my dear. (:

Ahahah.
I had no idea I was so mushy.
Muahahaha.

Okay I'm finally happy. Heheh.
Maybe because I'm hugging my Elmo.
Or rather, Shya Square's Elmo.
Eheheh.

I love you my dear. I love you so.
I love you a lot a lot a lot!!!! x)

Okay now ta!

2006-04-25T21:43:00.000+08:00

I LOVEEE my darling. Hahaha.

Well, he finally gave me Summer With Mary-Lou.

That book is spectacular. I shall do a book review on it one day. Nyeh. Me and my ridiculous ideas. x))

Today was moody.
ALERT. ALERT.
I'm having my PMS at the moment.
Do NOT piss me off.
Do NOT tell me your problems if you see my face stressed up.
Do NOT ask me questions.
Do NOT stand in my way.
Do NOT make lame jokes or I'll just be violent.

Nyeh.
Syamil should understand.
Well, we fought again just now. Ouh, what else is new... At least this fight was very beneficial. Nyeh. Shall not elaborate. Ouh how I miss him so already. And to think Nabil could ask me why I'm not yet "jelak" of Syamil. Dot dot dot la you Nabil! Ever heard of the word L-O-V-E? Well, I'm feeling it. x)

I'm still shocked la.
Everything seems so strange.
Muahaha.
And it seems as though nobody reads my blog no more.
Hmpfh.

Bad loyal readers.
BAD loyal readers!
xDD

Wakakaka.
I do believe I'm very high.
But ouh don't worry.
It's only because I was cyclops just now.
x))

Cried --> Red eyes --> Cyclops

Get the link?
Okay, never mind.

I just have the feeling that 2/5 has lost the debate against 2/4. Call it sixth sense. Haiz... I've been proven an uneffective leader. I shall go hang myself. I'm sooo disappointed in myself. All those time wasted being stressed out. It should have been concentrated on this freaking debate. Ahh heck. It's over.

My sixth sense is telling me that I'll fail my Maths Class test too. Haha. This, I'm very sure about. Muahaha. I can admit that I'm even a 100% sure. Muahaha. Ouh fuck la. I can't get any Maths into my head. So much to remember. Sheesh!!! I will sleep at 12. I will sleep at 12. I will sleep at 12. I will sleep at 12.

AND PLAY HARVEST MOON UNTIL 12!

Muahahaha.

Wheeee~
*Skips happily along the road*

2006-04-25T05:08:00.000+08:00

Rumors ~ Lindsay Lohan

Saturday steppin' into the club
And it makes me wanna tell the DJ
Turn It Up
I feel the energy all around
And my body can't stop moving to the sound

But I can tell that you're watching me
And you're probably gonna write what you didn't see
Well I just need a little space to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy

[Bridge]
Why can't you just let me
Do the things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I don't understand why
Would you wanna bring me down
I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life
Like I wanna do

[Chorus]
I'm tired of rumors starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

So, here we are back up in the club
People taking pictures
Don't you think they get enough
I just wanna be all over the floor
And throw my hands up in the air to a beat like (What?)

I've gotta say respectfully
I would like it if you take the cameras off of me
'Cause I just want a little room to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy?

[Repeath Bridge]
[Repeat Chorus]

I just need to free my mind [my mind]
Just wanna dance and have a good time [good time]

I'm tired of rumors [rumors]
Followed [followed, followed, followed, followed, followed]

What they [follow] me
Why can't they [they they they-they-they] let me live

Take this for just what it is

[Repeat Chorus X2]

2006-04-22T17:47:00.000+08:00

Happy 14th Birthday to Abdul Hadi!!
My dear big brother. Heheh.

I'm still angry at him though.

*Silence*

OUH ANYWAY.

Since I'm the NJRC Dance IC 2006, I'm going to start training very very soon!
So... All capable dancers out there!!
Modern Dancers, Malay Dancers, Chinese Dancers, Indian Dancers!!
Or even if you're from any other CCA(s)!!
If you know you can shake your booty well, don't hesitate!
Please email me at sharaihanah@hotmail.com or sms me at 90083844 as soon as possible!!!
ESPECIALLY Farhannis, Aisyah, Marinah, Aidah, TAUFIQ, Hidayah, Maisurah, Kak Syila, Firah and all those I've commented positively on!!
Those who can do splits, body ripples and back arching are VERY VERY VERY WELCOMED.
Your participation is gladly appreciated!
And I PROMISE that the dance will be a fun one!! *Naughty wink*

Wahaha.
Damn I'm pathetic.

But seriously la...
Ask around..
Ask anybody who went for NJRC last year..
It was a big blast...
And we got 1st runner up okayy?
Hehe. [Well at least I think so..]
But anyway...

The dance is important for the points, so PLEASE!!!
Contact me if you know you can dance!
Hahaha.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE? xD
Ouh P.S.. Flexibility will be a necessity for this dance. x)

CRAP. MAJOR CRAP. PLEASE DON'T CONTACT ME. LALALA~

2006-04-22T00:25:00.000+08:00

Words cannot express how pissed off I am now.

I'm thinking of abandoning this blog.
Eradicate it.

Lose contact with the blogger world.

Most of us blog to keep a social status anyway..

Ughh..

It's 12.25am.

I can't concentrate on the debates thingy.
What is the 4th speaker supposed to do again?
Ouh yea.
Rebutt and summarise the team's motion and stand.

Crap.

I think I need sleep.
Heading to Patricia's house early in the morning tomorrow.
Ouh I AM one busy little bitch.

I love my Malay group.
Hearts.

AND I LOVE MY DARLINGBABYSAYANG.
Hehe. And ouh! How I'll him miss him so...

2006-04-18T21:56:00.000+08:00

I'm so fucking pissed off.

Haiz...

Today was indeed a bad luck day. Haiz... Shall I do a proper update? Hehe. Shall then. xD

I woke up sooo damn early to get out of the house earlier due to sayang's comment yesterday.. BUT. Mummy called me when I was under the block to inform me that sayang wouldn't be sending me to school. I felt so pissed off lorr... Hehe. So I went to school alone.. Ouh yea, met Afiq along the way, so we walked together. Well, until FuShan Garden, that is. He left to send Dinah to school. Heh. Good boy. Wahaha.

Met Maisurah in front of the General Office so we went up to the hall together. Bought Chocolate Milk like the old days and sat with Zafirah until Syamil came and insisted that I sit with him. So I did and left for my morning duty thereafter. Wahaha. Today boring arh. I know all you people who are reading this would be like, "Sharifah is so boring today.." Haha. I think so too. Ouh well. Maybe I forgot how to blog already. *Blink blink*

Haha. Assembly was about NYP and the Bird Flu. xD Hidayah and I were talking about private stuffs that are really private. I'll keep my promise and you keep yours, yesh Hidayah? Nyehaha. It was strange, really. Most of the people around us were quiet. Except us. Hahakz. Kater jerh Councillor.. xD

Science was nothing much to comment about la.. I LOVE RIFHAN!! And no! I will never cheat on you!! xP Wakakaka... Skipped duty for awhile during recess. Was soo hungry. x) Lessons after recess were okay. Mother Tounge was full of crap. I think I'm starting to love my group.. x) Speaking about groups.. Stupid Ming Yang VOLUNTEERED to sit in front and now Divya is sitting with us instead.. I felt like such a goongoon all of a sudden... A sudden feeling of intense sadness overwhelmed me and tears just flowed out.. Yep, the rest WERE shocked since I cried because a pervertic was leaving our group.. But.. They have no idea.. I love Ming Yang soo much la.. He's my big sister!! He's ALSO the main reason why our group is so fun together! But now he's gone and Barney's the only guy. Sad. Very sad.

I'm soo envious of Addison and Jun Bin.

And no Hadi, I'm very much fine with Divya sitting with me. I don't need you to change seats with Divya. Besides, she's one of my dear friends and previous groupmates, I do believe she'll be fine getting along with us. By the way.. Cheer up kays Divya? (:

Maths...
I think I'm going to have to ask Bibi about it.
I really couldn't concentrate.
Besides, I had such a terrible headache.
- Ugh.

Home Econs was a display lesson for Ai Ling to see how crazy and high Priscilla and I are always. She just kept smiling. Heheh. I think she was extremely amused by us. Wakaka. I love Priscilla so. x))

Modern Dance sucked.
Ouh how alone I felt.
Thanks, Farhanah for the sweet.
But nevertheless, I left school crying and sobbing with red cyclop eyes that Hazira would kill for. My nose was red too. Heheh.

A VERY VERY VERY BIG THANK YOU to My DarlingBabySayang who once again put up with my nonsense and calmed me down.. He did that yesterday, too. x) Thank you sayang.. You don't know how much that meant to me.. And thank you for the rose, too. It's lovely. (: I love you so so so so so!! Heheh..

Well.. About the dance.. At least Mdm Rekha recognised me as one of the good dancers.. And I can do a centre split and almost do a right split.. I guess what baby says is true.. I shouldn't put too much effort in dance. I still want to excel in both the Student Council and Studies!! xD Aren't I one little greedy bitch? Nyehaha.

Ahh. I'd better go offline.
Maths portfolio to complete.
And History too.

But I'll go offline after comforting my dear, junior, Syakina. xD
Tatas!

2006-04-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

Wheeets.
Today afternoon was great.
Heehe.

Too lazy to elaborate arh.
But more information at Hadi, Maisurah or Afiq's bloggie.
But thanks to all for making me laugh.
Hahaa. Chocolate test test. Heh.
KOOTEH. xD

Gosh.. I miss my baby soo...
I want him so badly, like a 100%.
Haiz... I miss his touch...

2006-04-15T13:37:00.000+08:00

Sad. The blue blogger thingy has riverted to its normal colour.
Blueargh.

I have so many things to blog about. But it's inappropiate to blog about here. Okay, so I'm not in the best of moods. So I declared my quest to be THE WORLD'S HAPPIEST GIRL ON EARTH yesterday. But I DO have my mood swings okay. And ya. It sucks. Hmpfh. Period soon, maybe? Nahh. Can't be. Ughhh. I'm having a headache and the more I type the more it hurts. Blueargh.

Religion.
Wealth.
Power/Authority.
Status.
Friendships.
Sexual Relationship [BGR].

Which will you choose?
Tag me.

Ouh fuck.
I AM NOT DEPRESSED.
I AM NOT DEPRESSED.
I AM NOT DEPRESSED.
I AM NOT DEPRESSED.
I AM NOT DEPRESSED.
I AM NOT DEPRESSED.

T_T

Ladies and gentlemen, I think I'm depressed.

Ouh fuck it.
It's not my fault you 2 separated okay?
For all I know, both of you may read this blog. So guess what? I'm going to say how I truly feel. Yes, I do feel deprived! Why? Abang and Kakak have gotten lessons; all sorts of them since young! What did I get?! Nothing! I just feel the brunt of the two of you fighting! It's always like this! Dammit I'm tired of it! Okay? T-I-R-E-D. Lid, you asked me what problems I have. You're one very bright person and you should be smart enough to realise that my life at school AIN'T exactly perfect okay?! So what? I may be attached. I may have "Friends". I may be a councillor. I may be a good Modern Dancer and all, but, hello?! ALL THESE ARE MY PROBLEMS OKAY?!
I just want a normal perfect family okay?
Okay, maybe not perfect, but NORMAL, okay?
I don't want to have 2 houses!
I don't want to have 2 daddies or mummies!
I don't want to be pressurised TWICE the pressure!
I DON'T WANT ANY OF THIS!

UGHHHHH.
FUCK YOU.
FUCK ME.
FUCK EVERYBODY.

I'm sick of having no clique okay? TO TELL THE TRUTH, I MISS MSN. But what the heck can I do?! It's already evolved to MNN. And I'M TOTALLY SICK OF FIGHTING WITH MY BABY. But I guess we do patch it up... And ouh ya! I'M SICK OF BEING DISCRIMINATED FOR MY LOVE OF DANCING BY EVERY SINGLE PERSON AROUND ME. Doctors.. Parents.. Friends.. Just SHUT THE HELL UP, okay?! I LOVE DANCING. Nothing you can do about it! Face it! Sheesh!!

I'm sick of being pressurised like this..
I just want the pressure from myself okay?
Ahh fuck.
This entry would probably go unnoticed anyway.
JUST LIKE ALL THE PREVIOUS ENTRIES.
It's like, I'm INVINSIBLE.
Ughhh.

I better stop crying.
I'm like, leaving the house in 40 minutes to CWP with Maisurah, Hadi and Afiq. So be it. I'll put on my mask again. And if all of you think I'm over the fact that I'm on MC until 16th May, YOU'RE SO FUCKING WRONG.

Thank you the very the much.

Ouh P.S. I've changed my number to 90083844. So, ya. Ta.

2006-04-14T09:31:00.000+08:00

Woolala-cha.
Is it just me or has the Blogger publishing thingy turned blue?
Wahaha.
Cool, cool. STALE. xD

So anyway, I woke up due to a nightmare.
Or, a dream. Or whatever.
Well, in this particular dream...
I went swimming with baby and our friends.
Then we were having fun and everything..
And suddenly while walking around I saw him.
So wtf right??

Ouh by the way.. Him.. Refers to....
Somebody of very high authority in my life.
Not a guy or any BGR shitte okay?
I guess only some of you would know bahh....
Argh dammit.

I'm tired of being sad la.
Wahaha.
Like that also can tired hor.

I realised that a whole lot of people are like, confessing that all their happy faces are just acts. While deep down inside them they're like fucking sad or depressed or something... Okay, so I fall into that catagory, but heck. That's why I want to CHANGE! xD I want to be happy for something, and always be happy. x) AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BE AN ACT. Hmpfh. Come to think of it again, it IS my sensitivity that has always made me a negative thinker. Fuck me la. Wahahaha.

Ouh well.

I believe right, that I right, should right, really right, stop blogging right...
And call my daddy.

Somehow.

I woke up because of him anyways. x)
EVERYBODY READING THIS..
ARE YOU HAPPY??

Cause if you aren't, remember that every second you spend being angry/sad/frustrated/depressed/silly COULD be a second spent being happy/cheerful/satisfied/over-joyed/smart. x)

I DO BELIEVE I'VE TURNED INTO A GOONGOON.
Wakakakaka.... Like seriously.. WAHAHAHA.
I so do not believe that I'm listening to "Hey Mickey!" xD
Reminds me of FCPS Cheerleading Squad.
Mastura!! Remember those crazy times?
Nyehahaha.

I miss Cheerleading la.
RSS, ouh RSS, please make a Cheerleading Squad?
Haiz.... Woolala!! I think I've gone mad.
HAPPY-MAD.
NOT DEPRESSED-MAD.
x) I want my mummy.

Wahahaha.

Don't read my blog already la. It's full of crap. Just like me! Ouh Afifah!! I miss you soo! Wahaha. OUH YA OUH YA OUH YA!!
HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY TO HANI AND JOSEPHINE DEAR ON THE 12TH. Hehe. Didn't have time to update la. xD I've been really really busy these past few days. Nyeh.

OUH FUCK. DEBATES HOW?

Ouh gosh. Ouh gosh.
PATRICIA, AIDIL, DIVYA.
SMS ME. SOON.

Okay I think I'd better eff off now.
TATA! I'M HAPPY. I'M HAPPY. I'M HAPPY.
Ouh I love being me. x|

2006-04-10T22:39:00.000+08:00

I really want to thank a person for tolerating my nonsense and being so sweet to me just now. Even though we did almost get into a ~~big big fight~~, we cleared it up anyways. Thank you, Muhammad Syamil Bin Bueari, MY DarlingBabySayang, for being such a sweet adorable little cute boy after school just now. (:

With that done, let's carry on shall we?

It's been ages since I did a proper entry so I'll start now.
Nyehaha.

It all started with morning assembly which was total crap. I do believe that she is suffering from self-denial and can't accept the fact that everybody is pissed off by her. I think most of the upper secondary students would understand what I mean. Go figure. We LOVE Mrs Stella Tan. (:

So the first and second lesson was Home Ec. I have absolutely no idea what got over me. I couldn't stop looking at the 'bad side' and couldn't stop crying. I think my eyes were red by recess. And I really do have to credit Priscilla for being such an angel and making me laugh with her funny and crazy recipe ideas. We may have a sleepover!! xD Muahaha. Crazy, crazy us.

So recess was ~~okay~~sucked big time. I didn't finish my food since the boys were teasing/bullying me. Like, hello?? Bullying is a serious offence okayy?? Nyehaha!! xPP I didn't feel like eating anyways. I felt sick the whole way I was eating. Sick as in, ready to puke. Ouh well, never mind.

English was a bore today. Ming Yang was extremely moody, yet he had the mood to talk about yesterday's True Files episode on Channel 5. Surprisingly, I knew every single thing he talked about, simply because I watched that episode too. And I was laughing hysterically about it. Obviously a cover-up. One of my worst I might add. It was such a close tough break. Ughh. Once again, never mind.

Art was fucked up la.
I cried. And wouldn't stop.
Thank you, Divya.
Hong Hwee & Ming Yang are so adorable.
Hahakz. Sweets.

Ms Ng wasn't present today for Project Work so we headed to the library. Well, 20 of us anyways. The even numbers. I do believe I could have broke down, again. BUT. Jun Bin, Kokie, Divya and Hadi are just so sweet! x) They made me laugh over and over. BUT I am beginning to find somebody irritating. Ughh.. Never mind..

FT was nice. Had ice-creams. HAPPY 19TH ANNIVESARY RSS!!! xD
I was hoping I'd be able to get private time with Mdm Chang, but I doubt that would be possible with the chaos that the class was in. Wait. There's practically NEVER a time when our class is NOT chaotic. =.=||| I was sad. I still am. Of course I am. Is it not a natural feeling? The feeling of losing something? Losing something so important to you?

~~*Silence*~~*Awkward Silence*

Ouh lol. I am NOT talking about the guy's sexual reproduction thingy, okayy?? xDD

I called him after school.
I was trying hard to not break into tears.
It's hard.
Fucking hard.
Hard when I'm actually divided into 2.
And it's not even equally divided.
Forget it.
I doubt any would understand.

Left school with baby and he was so adorable in the bus. Hehe. Hearts you darling. We did almost get into a fight. But the irony of it all is that, everything always gets better and better. I really am starting to think that Syamil is the best thing that has ever happened to me in Secondary School. [PS. I thought joining Modern Dance was the best. xP] I mean, come to think of it, every close friendship I've had so far has failed. So I won't even bother trying anymore. I'm sick and tired la.

As much as I miss that feeling.
That feeling of being belonged..
People do grow and change, yesh?
Well, in this case, I'm adapting to my surroundings.
Or rather, adapting to my feelings.
Credit me for trying.

Hmm..
I find it pointless la.
No point blogging about it.

Argh dumbfuck.
I've lost the mood to blog again.
So long, and good night...

OUH BTW.
DIA IS SO SO SO SO SAD.
*Sob sob sob sob*
I love you Dwi!!

2006-04-09T15:04:00.000+08:00

I've been watching anime on You Tube lately.
Specifically, Gundam Seed.

Ouh it's so so so so so so so very addictive.
It's magnetic pull is even stronger than television's.
Muahahhaa.

Kira is so cute neh!!
Argh. And my homework is still rotting.
I'll start doing it at 4pm.
I promise. I HAVE TO.
Shitte me la.
Lalalalalaa~~
KIRA IS HOT.
Asron too la.
Wahahahahaha.

I LOVE GUNDAM SEED. WHEEETS.

2006-04-08T16:14:00.000+08:00

Yesterday sucked.

I blogged about it at my Friendster blog.
Go ahead and read it, if you want.
But I warn. It's depressing.

Ouh yesh..
After tolerating the pain for weeks, I finally fainted again.
And it was on my way home.
So much for being strong, huh?
Thank you sayang, for being there for me.

Thank you. To Marinah, Aidah, Afiq, Zailan, Irfan, Preetha, Niveda, Yoges, Hana, Dina, Afiq [Sec 4] and Syamil [DBS].

For being there for me yesterday.
For making me laugh.
Through-out all the rehearsals and practices.
I love all of you so! xD

"Pudar" by Rossa

Kurasakan pudar dalam hatiku
Rasa cinta yang ada untuk dirimu
Ku lelah dengan semua yang ada
Ingin ku lepas semua

Setan dalam hati ikut bicara
Bagaimana kalau ku selingkuh saja
Ku punya banyak teman lelaki
Sepertinya ku kan bahagia

[Korus]
Mestinya kau cari pengganti diriku saja
Karna kita sudah tak saling bicara.. Whoa..
Pastikan cerita tentang kita yang telah lalu
Hanya ada dalam ingatan hatimu

Maafkan aku jika kau kecewa
Cintamu bukan lah untuk diriku
Jika memang semua kan jadi cerita
Ku tahu kau semakin terluka.. Ah ah ah..

[Korus]

Kurasakan pudar dalam hatiku
Rasa cinta yang ada untuk dirimu
Ku lelah dengan semua yang ada
Ingin ku lepas semua

Setan dalam hati ikut bicara
Kalau ku selingkuh saja
Ku punya banyak teman lelaki
Sepertinya ku kan bahagia

2006-04-07T08:02:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling so fucked up now.
I think a great authority has found out about me and him.
And that's so remorseful.

Ughhh.

Ouh gosh.
I think I'm going mad again.
Don't ask me why I've not been updating.
I've updated.
But I saved them as drafts.
I don't want to publicise these past 4 days.
I want to forget them.

They were all sick.
All sick.

Now I might just sound like a psycho to all of you.
Ugh.

Whatever.

Like I said, I've gone mad. So believe whatever you want to believe. But at the moment, I'm in love with Malay songs and I really am determined to get that A1. Common Tests is in 3 weeks, and I do NOT want to focus on something that won't work out. It's over - that's what my brain tells me. It's still there - that's what my heart says. I won't deny the fact that I miss them. I miss being belonged. And how I envy her. I'd watch her with cold eyes whenever she walks past. It's as if my brain's just paying her callous heart back.

And I know there's something wrong with me.
She can't have a callous heart.
That's not right. Syirah said so.

I told you I'm mad.

I'm just so not me.
Ouh by the way.

Happy 9th Month Anniversary to my sayang. (:

2006-04-03T21:26:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged by Patricia and Kai Yuan!

- If you've been tagged, you are to come up with 7 qualities of your ideal perfect lover. - Do specify the gender. - Then, list down and tag another 7 people on their pages. - If you've been tagged before, you need not do this again. Have fun!

My Perfect PRINCE Charming Should Be...

- At least taller than me. [Better if he is still taller than me even when I'm wearing heels. xD]
- Trust me at all times, and have faith in me and doesn't lie!
- Tolerate my P.M.S. and mood swings which are irritating.
- Have a kind heart and loves me for who I am.
- Easy to talk to and always does sweet stuff for me.
- Loves me forever and ever and ever. x)
- Be able to sing/play any musical instruments/dance. [Muahaha..]

7 people..

- Syamil [As if he's going to do it.. Nyehaha!]
- Afiq
- Hadi
- Afifah
- Armeeza
- Hani
- Azyan

Muahaha!!

*Wish me luck for tomorrow's appointment.*

I love you sayang. Forever and ever only you. Believe the fact that I belong to you, alright? x) Missing you so much my darling dear.... My DarlingBabySayang is the sweetest thing on Earth! Hee!

2006-04-02T17:30:00.000+08:00

Wahahaa!! I feel like such a retard.
Or like my sister says it, fucktard.
Wahahaa.

Okay, so all the members have updated about that outing.
All.... Except me.
Nyehaha! So I shall!
Wakakaka...

Okay.. On Saturday.. Was rudely awaken by Farhanah at about 8am+.. It's okay though. I'm just not used to waking up so early on weekends. xD Then settled the time and meeting place with her and Yohannis via phonecalls.. And Yohannis dear and me talked for about 1 hr + on the phone... Aww... I love her so so so! x) So finally got ready and left for CWP... Was the first to reach Boots & Shoes. Farhanah was inside CWP and I couldn't find Yohannis. o.O||

Lol. So we met up.. Bla bla bla... Forward to when we entered the library... Yohannis, Farhanah and I were like, lost there.. x) Ouh ouh ouh!! And we saw a primary school kid shaking his ass! Like, SERIOUSLY. Muahaha!! Free show! xD We finally found a corner to sit at.. And it reminded me and Yohannis about last year.. Ouh how I miss KK... x) So Hana came about 10 minutes after...

And although we haven't really gotten everything together, I'm so happy that we've solved our background stuff. So now we've just got to make the lyrics and video everything, yesh? xD [It is so so so much more complicated than that. xP] So we went to eat and Macs after that... Farhanah blanje-d me a double cheeseburger. Thanks sis.. Then Yohax and I bought bubble tea.. And wtf.. The person there has ATTITUDE PROBLEM. Hmpfh. So much for good service. She was like, asking US to give her the money quickly. WTF. Urgh. Moron..

So we went up to the Fujifilm shop to develop Hana's photos... And woolala-cha!! Anis came! xD I love Anis. I love Anis! *Chants it over and over* Muahaha. [See, I told you I'm being such a fucktard at the moment. xP] Okay so anyway, we went to the arcade! xD Wahaha. Had fun there.. Then Farhanah left for Madrasah and YAYNESS! GG was alive and KICKIN'! Nyehaha!! We finally took a neoprint that turned out great.. I so love my Gilers! Kwang3!! Ouh well... Before the neoprints.. The 4 of us went to the Baby's Changing Toilet thingy and Anis, Hana and I put on make-up. Well, not really. We just touched-up a bit. Hee!! After the neoprints... We went to Cold Storage to get CHOCOLATE BALLS! And now I'm addicted to it! Wahaha. I've told mummy and kakak about it.

I'm so so so going to buy it again.... Soon! x)

And ouh.. Hana and I were talking about getting married together and all... Do not fret, Farhannis. You will get another boyfriend, whether it's him or not, and we will get married together! Wahaha. With Yohannis!! x)

So we went to lepak at the level 6 lift landing where I went totally crazy. Muahaha!! I was doing bron che te there and the camera captured everything! Muahaha!! I couldn't stop dancing. For 3 reasons. I wanted to forget the fact that I can't dance til 2nd May, I miss Syamil terribly and want to channel my thoughts to something else and I was FREAKINGLY HIGH!!! Wakakaka!!

So Anis left after that.. And we all went home..
Ouh.. How I love my GG dears... (:

And how I miss my sayang...

2006-04-01T23:13:00.000+08:00

Gosh that lurveya girl is so pathetic.
I think it's so cute!
Hahaha. It's like, making me laugh.
Wahahaha.
Ouh gosh I'm missing sayang so much.
Ouh wells.

Today was fun.
Lalala~

I'm sleepy.
Shall update when I have the time.
FYI.
I am on hiatus. (:
Tirra.

OUH TO THAT LURVEYA GIRL, I JUST KNOW YOU READ MY BLOG.
JUST A PIECE OF ADVICE, IF YOU WANT TO STEAL MY BABY AWAY FROM ME, IT ISN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA TO BE ON BAD TERMS WITH ME. CAUSE MY SAYANG LISTENS TO ME, AND ERR. YOU'RE REALLY JUST PISSING HIM OFF INSTEAD OF MAKE HIM THINK YOU'RE A BIG BOOBY WOMAN. FYI. SYAMIL IS NOT THAT SORT. (: MUAHAHA.

xD

Or do you just want to provide me with entertainment?
Wahahaha.
It's seriously so laugh-able.
I really have to pat this person's back real hard.
Cause he/she is just so adorable.
But of course, my DarlingBabySayang is the cutest thing on Earth.

Ouh.. I miss him so..

2006-03-31T22:09:00.000+08:00

Today was sad.
I spent 8am - 3.15pm at the Polyclinic.
I had to take another x-ray.

Because of my strawberry-milk drinking habit, the fracture is healing fast! xD I love strawberry milk. Love love love!! Muahaha. But although the fracture is healing, the wound is still swelling so I am not able to dance or do intensive P.E. until 2nd May 2006. o.O|||

And ouh ya.
I have to go to KKH for an appointment next Tuesday.
Fuck it la.
I was worried about my councillor duties.
But I got it covered. xD
Thanks to Zailan and Irfan volunteering to do my late-coming councillor duty. (:

Well, I cried because of the no-dancing-til-2nd-May thing.
Eff it la. Eff it all.
I really pray that there's nothing wrong with my legs.
Please God, please make everything better.
Please...

Yesterday's O.C. training was okay...
Was tiring though.
Mummy and sayang talked.
Sayang sent me to school and mummy demanded to talk to him. x)
They seem to get along with each other well.
Muahahaha. Good for me.
Now I only have to deal with baby's parents.. xD
No worries.. 9 years to do that. Nyeh! x)

Okay so rehearsal was a little weird yesterday..
Standing there like some weird kid..
Sheesh me.
I'm so glad that Preetha was there.
Wahaha. She's lame and funny.
That's love! Muahaha.
Spent most of the time in the Council Room.
Laughing and crapping with Marina, Aidah, Zailan and Irfan.
Thanks to all of them. xD
Muahaha.

And ouh yesh. Finally got my chocolates from Mdm Chang.
Heeh! Shared the Hershey's kisses with a few people.
And I'm eating the Mon Cheri all by myself neh.
I'm still... Not in the right state of mind! xD
Nyehahaha!!
After the rehearsal ended..
I was hoping that baby would send me home..
But he had to go for Madrasah...
And in the end, I think he went to Asyiq's house instead.
Hmm... Weird..

Ouh talking about sayang...
That 'lurveya' girl tagged him again.
Wahaha.
I really find that cheap slut pathetic.
Like, ouh wow.
You 2 had sex?
As if I'd believe that.
Ahahaha.
Kalau nak bohong tau la limit kau....
Aku tak sebodoh engkau dong...
Nyeh!

I trust my DarlingBabySayang so don't even try it.
I don't want the guy you claim to love to be the person who disfigures you.
Now, wouldn't that be sad?
Nyehahah!!

Okay.. So because dbs couldn't send me home, Hadi + Afiq + Jun Bin sent me home. Wakakaka. We walked all the way home and were crapping the whole way through. Hahakz. Was crying at the starting because sayang couldn't give me a goodbye kiss but I did feel better when those 3 lame dudes cheered me up. Nyeh nyeh.

Sweet of Afiq and Hadi to send me to my doorstep at night.
Thanks you two!

And to my sayang...
Hey baby.. Don't be too sad about it okay.. We'll make it through this episode.. Just like all the other episodes we've been through... Everything will be better, okays my love? x) And to think I was the person refusing to let him go. Haha. I only have one thing to say to you darling. I miss you and I love you, and I'm never ever ever ever going to let you go. xD Eh wait. That's 3 things. Hee!! I miss you so!! XoXoXoXoXo

Okay I'll go offline now.
Wahaha.
MISS ME.